"I am not a monkey, and this is not a circus," shouted a red faced Saddam Hussein, moments after his on-again off-again trial was on-again. "I am the Lord of Hell-fire, and demand another piece of pie." Due to the unfortunate death of his lawyers, the pie (lemon chiffon) had to be served by the prosecuting attorney. Saddam took one look at the pie and flung it across the courtroom, demanding a cheeseburger instead. "All my captors serve me is chicken," he explained, "and sometimes a man desires a taste of cow."
Hussein demanded that his handcuffs be removed before entering the courtroom, and then bitched about having to walk up the stairs, initially stating that he would "just wait" until the elevator was fixed. He then fidgeted uncontrollably while the days only witness (unfortunately deceased) was heard on videotape. "I have paper," he yelled, "but nowhere is a pen! Where is my pen?" When told by the judge that it was in his hand, Saddam scowled before growling "I'm talking about my red one."
The court adjourned until December 5th, to allow Hussein to search for a live attorney.