Remarks by President Bush at Sedalia's "Talk to President Bush Talking Rally
with President Bush"
Missouri State Fairgrounds
THE PRESIDENT: Thank you all. Thanks for coming. (Applause.) Thank you,
thank you very much. Thank you
all. Please be seated. It's such an honor to be here. Thanks for coming. I
don't know if you know it, but we're on a bus tour. They're big old things,
those buses, big and made out of metal. I'm out asking for your vote. (Applause.) Thank you,
thank you very much. Y'all got it? You got the vote? I believe -- I like coming directly to the people, and
say, give me your goddamn vote, and here's the reason why I think you ought to
give it to me, and I already asked you nicely three times. And that's what we're going to do today. (Applause.) Thank you,
thank you very much.
I thought we'd do it a little differently. We'll ask you four times and
then we will demand your vote. Just kidding. Not. I've got some things I want to share with you
about what I'd like to accomplish during the next four years. And so we've
asked some citizens to come and share some stories and talk with us. That
sounds pretty good, doesn't it. Darn good.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: (Inaudible.)
THE PRESIDENT: You betcha. (Applause.) Thank you, thank you very much.
I don't have to understand you people to talk to you. See what I mean. And then I'd like to answer some questions.
Did I say that already? You betcha. Some of you may have a question
or two in your mind, and I'd like to answer them for you. No. Heh, heh.
That's my answer. Just like Capital One.
Before I begin, I wish Laura were here. Don't you? She is a wonderful lady.
She's my Shady Bob, if you know what I mean. (Applause.) Thank you, thank you very much. If I don't get too long winded,
I'm going to have dinner with her tonight. Taco's. It's Taco Night at the
White House. (Laughter.) She was a -- she was
raised in Midland, Texas. That's where I was raised. Kind of. Close enough. And she was a public
school librarian when I married her. (Applause.) Thank you, thank you very
much. And she said, fine, George, I'm damaged goods, I'm a damn public school
librarian, what the hell, I'll marry you, just so long as I don't have to
give any speeches. (Laughter.) Fortunately she didn't -- I said, fine, you
don't ever have to give any speeches. Course I was telling a fictionalized
version of the truth.
And so, fortunately, she didn't hold me to that fictionalized promise that she wouldn't
have to give any. Speeches, that is. She gave a magnificent speech in New York City the other
night. (Applause.) Thank you, Laura thanks you very much. I mean, she would,
it's just the being here not thing that makes my words ring unusually hollow. I
wasn't surprised because she's a former public school librarian.
Those people are smart. You know, she ran over a kid once... it was a damn shame.
I don't like to talk about it...
I'm going to give you some reasons
to put me back in there, in that, that presidential office, as the
president, but I think probably the most important one of all
so is that Laura is, uh, my, my, your First Lady for four more years. (Applause.) Whoo dog. Thank
you, thank you very much.
The other thing -- then I'm running with a good man. Funny looking fella,
looks like that Nipper dog, head all cockeyed. We've got a great
ticket. Front row center for U2. Heh, heh. Dick Cheney has done a heck of a job as the Vice President,
but scoring those seats...
Well, that's good. He's good. (Applause.) Thank you, thank you very much, for
Dick's sake. I like to tease him, by saying,
well, you know, I admit it, he's not the prettiest face in the race.
That'd be me! (Laughter.) Heh, heh, heh. But just like Laura, I didn't pick him because of his looks. I picked him because
he was a former public school librarian, and the fact that he can get the job done.
(Applause.) Thank you, thank you very much. He's a great Vice President. And
I'm proud to be running with him. (Applause.) Thank you, thank you very
I want to thank my uncle, Bucky Bush, who is with us. The Buckster. He's a Missouri
native, or citizen, right here, from St. Louis. (Applause.) Thank you, thank
you very much. That's so cool. I want to thank Charlie Kruse -- where is Charlie?
Charlie, God bless you, sir. We're so glad you're not dead. Our prayers are with you.
I'm prayin you're going to vote for me. Goddamn better. (Applause.) Thank
you, thank you very much. He's a good man. Prettier than Dick Cheney, don't
you think? I've known Charlie for quite a
while. Two minutes tonight, and about thirty seconds four years ago. He said -- when I was campaigning in 2000,
I was campaigning for president and he said, whatever you do,
do not forget the Missouri farmer. (Applause.) Thank you, thank you very
much. He said, you keep that river open for our products. What the hell did
he think I was going to do with the river, for God's sake. (Applause.) Thank
you, thank you very much. And we did. Kept that river open. Although my
opponent wanted to close it. And I hadn't forgotten the Missouri
farmer. Because they are just plain weird. The farm economy is strong, and
the farmers smell strong. And we intend to keep it that way.
Whoa! Where is the time running away to? I wanted to do me a little bit
of that question and answer thing with all you good people in Sedalia. Think
I'll do the questions. Guess
we're gonna have to cut to the chase. According to my notes, Wayne Lamb is with us. (Applause.) Say thank you, Wayne.
Say thank you very much. Sounds like some
of these hicks know you.
MR. LAMB: I guess so.
THE PRESIDENT: Okay, Mister Guess so. What's the name of your mother?
MR. LAMB: Sedalia Steel Supply.
THE PRESIDENT: Your mother's name is Sedalia Steel Supply? That's a pretty
wild name. And what do you do?
MR. LAMB: I own Sedalia Steel Supply. We're a steel service center, and we service the Midwest...
THE PRESIDENT: What do you do - steel from people?
MR. LAMB: ...we
service all the mid-part of Missouri with -- we find steel from large mills,
break it into smaller quantities, take it to schools, manufacturing
companies, maintenance fabricators. We process it. Just pass the savings on
THE PRESIDENT: Yeah, good. It was a little joke, asswipe. And let me ask you, when did you start
MR. LAMB: Started in 1976, so we're almost 28 years old.
THE PRESIDENT: Almost as long as Dick Cheney's been in the business. This wasn't one of those deals that started in your
garage, was it? A garage steel company?
MR. LAMB: No, it started just about like that. I had a degree --
THE PRESIDENT: Kitchen table.
MR. LAMB: What?
THE PRESIDENT: Kitchen table. Like em? Like kitchen tables?
MR. LAMB: They're okay. Back to me... I had a degree in accounting. In fact, it
was in economics, and I didn't know a piece of steel from a two-by-four.
THE PRESIDENT: Yeah. I don't either
MR. LAMB: That's how it started.
THE PRESIDENT: That's how what started? (Applause.) Thank you, thank you
MR. LAMB: Sedalia Steel Supply. We presently have 40 employees.
THE PRESIDENT: Forty, good. Two hundred would be better. At least less
pitiful. I usually don't
talk to folks this low on the chain.
MR. LAMB: We've added three new employs this year.
THE PRESIDENT: Well, big whoop. I've added three million. Let me tell you
all something interesting about Wayne's business. He is called a Subchapter
S corporation. That is an accounting term, or legal term -- legal term?
MR. LAMB: Yes, it's a legal term.
THE PRESIDENT: Legal term. You and I aren't lawyers. Are we? Think quick,
MR. LAM: No, sir. (Applause.) Uh, thank you, thank you very much. I
THE PRESIDENT: A Subchapter S corporation, like a sole proprietorship,
pays taxes at the individual income tax level. You know where I'm going with
this, don't you? Yada yada tax break. Raising taxes is the wrong thing to do
right now in America. (Applause.) Thank you, thank you very much.
AUDIENCE: Four-more years! Four-more years! Four-more years!
THE PRESIDENT: Sure. Okay, got a little work to do. And I'm bored with old
Wayne here. We've got another lucky winner who saved money on her taxes: Ellyn Wilson. Tell us what you do, Ellyn.
Keep it short. Interesting job she's
got. Keep it sweet. Interesting jobs she's got. Bunch of em. Be better if
she could keep a husband.
MS. WILSON: Mr. President, I work three jobs. I'm a single mom, which is
a full-time job, anyway.
THE PRESIDENT: That's not a real job, Ellyn. I think you know that. Is that
ugly child your daughter?
MS. WILSON: Yes, this is Hannah.
THE PRESIDENT: Listen to your mom, Hannah. Hannah Hannah, Bonana,
(Applause.) Thank you, thank you very much. I know my name game. (Laughter.)
MS. WILSON: And this is my son, Caleb Wilson. He's eight.
THE PRESIDENT: Caleb. That's a retard name. Fantastic. What do you do, Mom?
You don't mind if I just call you Mom, do you? I mean, with all these
fabulous kids. Any of em legitimate? So what's your other job?
MS. WILSON: I am a music teacher. This is my 14th year starting. That's
my full-time position.
THE PRESIDENT: Fourteen years and you're just starting? Sounds like
you've got the makings of a president. How'd you like to be the first girl
MS. WILSON: And I made a change this year...
THE PRESIDENT: That's fine, Evelyn. It's what we call a rhetorical
question. She's a real marketer, isn't she folks. (Laughter.)
MS. WILSON: And my part-time job is out of my home. I'm a Mary Kay
consultant, and I'm working my way up to a star recruiter, and working my
way up in the business.
THE PRESIDENT: Running her own business. Wowie zowie. You must be
hyperactive, Elvira, just listening makes me tired. She's a sole proprietor. Got her own business -- kind
of the American way, isn't it? You bet it is. You got any more horn tootin
to do, little miss?
MS. WILSON: And I love to serve the Lord at what I do, and I'm church
pianist at First Baptist Church, Sedalia, Missouri. (Applause.)
THE PRESIDENT: Yeah, yeah, can't shut her up. She saved $1,000 on tax relief,
and I'll personally give you another grand if you can close that yap for
thirty seconds. (Applause.) Thank you, thank you very much. It's incredibly hard work to be a single mom.
I know. I used to be one. The tax
relief helps single moms -- $1,000. That's one zero zero zero point zero
MS. WILSON: And I got braces for my kids. It's helped a lot.
THE PRESIDENT: Looks like Eddie just missed out on that extra moolah. Did you ever
see such a windbag?
MS. WILSON: With my Mary Kay supplies, as well. So it really helped...
THE PRESIDENT: Moving right along. Let's talk to another prepositioned
common person out here in our over-inflated audience. Dang, there must be
ten, twelve thousand of you here today. Before I talk about how to make the world a safer place, I
want to ask Dr. Don Allcorn, who is with us today, to stand up. (Applause.)
Strapping fellow, isn't he? I've asked Don to come today, because we have an issue in this country.
People who can't beat me arm-wrestling. I'll tell you a true story. I've
broken the bones of several simple folks who have made the serious mistake of
taking on the mighty Bush right arm. And you know what they do? They take
out frivolous lawsuits. We've got an issue with these frivolous lawsuits that are making it
difficult for people to arm wrestle in America. And this just isn't in the case
in Missouri, this is all over the country. I'm telling you, too many good
docs who are getting sued time and time and time again by crybaby cranks who
say they can't get the kinks out after surgery, and make no mistake about
it, it runs your cost up. I want to -- Don, what kind of medicine do you practice?
MR. ALLCORN: I'm a brainologist in Lincoln, which is about 20 miles
south of here. It's a town of about 900.
THE PRESIDENT: Nine hundred.
MR. ALLCORN: Nine hundred.
THE PRESIDENT: Hmm. 286 times 3... Well, that's -- about three times bigger than Crawford.
MR. ALLCORN: That's right. Just ask the brainologist. (Laughter.)
THE PRESIDENT: Well, thanks for coming. And so, give us -- tell people
what it's like. I mean -- are there a lot of brains in Lincoln that require
MR. ALLCORN: Not really, but -- my dream, as I was going through
undergraduate and then medical school, was to practice in a small town,
raise a family there. I think it's a good place to be. We've only got one
trial lawyer, so frivolous law...
THE PRESIDENT: Uh huh. Is this your family here?
MR. ALLCORN: I have my family here with me. Four daughters, and my lovely
THE PRESIDENT: She sure is. (Applause.) I'd do her in a minute. If it
wasn't for the first lady, that is. And the law of Jesus Christ. (Laughter.)
MR. ALLCORN: My wife has a Master's degree in nursing education, and she
chose to be a stay-at-home mom, and has done that for the last 19 years.
THE PRESIDENT: Good. (Applause.) Thank you, Thank you very much. That's
just great. So her folks work hard to send her to college, and she gets her
Master's degree, and she sits home on her ass. Good. So let's get to the
point. Do you hate trial lawyers like John Edwards who threaten your
livelihood with frivolous lawsuits? I know I do, but feel free to answer on
MR. ALLCORN: It's not a real issue these days, because I don't have any
patients. I probably should move some place where they have a hospital, but
I just like
THE PRESIDENT: Yeah. So basically you're an idiot. You're working in a place where
you can't do any brainology operations and your wife sits on her ass all
day. Jeez. I always wonder how people find the time to come to these rallies
in the middle of the week. Heh. Vote for me. I think that's four times.
Listen, citizens of Sedalia, sorry bout not answering many questions, but I really do have to go, otherwise the people will be waiting.
The people in the next town. The good people in the next town. Yeah. I've got to see a man about a dog.
And it's Taco night. I hate to
keep people waiting. Laura's a people. So God bless you. I'm sure your
questions were bright American questions, so just assume I gave the good
answer, not the evil answer, but the American one. Thanks for your time. Get out and vote. (Applause.)
Thank you, thank you very much.