Despairing of a continual partisan squabble to lay blame for the events of 911, there are growing signs that the White House may be planning to reveal the identity of a single individual responsible for the whole shebang.

A highly placed member of the administration told FGAQ that soon "it might not matter whether or not Condi speaks publicly, or whether or not Richard Clarke is a fucking liar. There's only one person who is to blame for everything. It just goes to show the power of a single individual."

Pictured above is Robert 'Smiling Bob' Thurston, a GS-11 at the Pentagon who was hired during the Clinton Administration. This picture was captured on 911 by a security camera mounted in Level 2 Ring B, an area which was supposed to have been evacuated.

Thurston, 43,  heads up Pentagons 'rouge airplane watching corps', was mysteriously late for work on the morning of September 11, leaving the alertifying machine unmanned at a critical moment. Thurston claims he was suffering from an erection that lasted over four hours.


2004, Mark Hoback