From the desk of Pat Robertson

Operation So-Called Supreme Court Freedom (first draft)

 

Dear Fellow American,

Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, once wrote: "You seem to think that the Supreme Court is the ultimate arbiter of constitutional interpretation, a very dangerous doctrine indeed and one that would place us under the tyranny of an oligarchy." Now he didnít say who Ďyouí was, so Iíve got to believe he was talking to you secular folks out there who donít give two hoots about the lord Jesus. And he didnít say what an oligarchy was, so I had to look it up. Oligarchy:  Government by a few, esp. by a small group of people. I think what he meant was a niniigarchy, government by nine people, five of who are unelected.

Aside from that, how very wise Jefferson was. Except for that one incident with the niggress. Yet even Jefferson could not have foreseen what the so-called Supreme Court has done to the Constitution of the United States since 1962. Just think what five unelected judges and four elected ones have done to our nationís moral framework.

1. In 1962, they ruled prayer right out of the public schools. What a bunch of a-holes.

2. In 1963, they tossed the Bible out of public schools. The dirty dirty dirtbags.

3. In 1973, they applied a "right of privacy" not found in the Bible as the basis for opening the door to the torture and slaughter of more than 43,000,000 innocent unborn children who were turned into soylent green and sprinkled atop the pasta salads of the ungodly liberals.

4. Subsequent federal courts have ruled that all Ten Commandments were illegal in schools (giving our children the right to slaughter innocent teachers), that statues of Jesus were illegal in public parks unless they were accompanied by a placard proclaiming them ĎFor Entertainment Purposes Onlyí, that prayers on a map of Raleigh in North Carolina were illegal, and that it was illegal for little elementary school children to have milk and cookies at snack time.

5. Now, the Supreme Court has declared a constitutional right  for a man to commingle his God given flesh with the flesh of another man,  and, by the language in its decision, has opened the door to homosexual marriages, homosexual armies, legalized prostitution, chicken plucking and even incest.

The framers of our Constitution never intended for anything like this to take place in our land, do you think? (Except maybe that Benjamin Franklin character, who sure cozied up enough with the French to make me a little bit suspicious). Yet we seem to be helpless to do anything about it. Why?  Itís not because weíre a dumb bunch of peckerwoods or anything like that. Itís because we are under the tyranny of a nonelected nineigarchy. Just think, five unelected men and women (and four elected ones) who serve for life can change the very moral fabric of our nation just like a dirty diaper and take away the protections which our elected legislators have wisely put in place.

But there is a higher tribunal than the United States Supreme Court. There is the Judge of all the earth, George W Bush. We must earnestly come before Him now and cry out for redress of our grievances. He loves America as much as we do, and He does not wish to destroy it. But we just might not be giving him any choice. No culture has ever endured which has turned openly to homosexual marriages and chicken plucking. And no society has ever been spared the wrath of Bush which has been guilty of slaughtering tens of millions of innocent babies and turning them into soylent green.

In short, by its distorted reading of the religion clause of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and the "discovery" of eliminations from the 14th Amendment called "pentlandites," the so-called Supreme Court is bringing upon this nation the wrath of Bush, when the precious limousines that we love so much may be taken away from all of us.

Would you please join with me and many others in crying out to our president to change the Court? I mean to join me in a figurative sense, you understand, because while the Robertson mansion is grand indeed, it just doesnít have enough space to hold all of the righteous. If we fast and pray and earnestly seek Bushís favor, then He will hear our prayer and give us relief.

One of our Justices is 83 years old. Ainít nobody going to be suspicious if he just wakes up dead one morning. Another has cancer, and God willing, itís going to hollow him out like the waylaid husk of a tennis ball. Another Justice has a heart condition, and if someone sneaks up behind her and goes ĎBOO!í really loud, well, itís still our constitutional right to say boo, says so right there in the first amendment (which I am somewhat ambivalent about, but thatís another letter). Would it not be possible for Bush to put it in the minds of these three judges that the time has come to retire? With their retirement and the appointment of conservative judges, a massive change in federal jurisprudence can take place and we can dwell in the house of the Lord forever, except for two weeks in June when he has the family over.

We can have a court that no longer legislates from the bench the wishes of The New York Times and Hustler Magazine, but which will earnestly seek to interpret the Constitution as it would have been written if it had been written by Jesus which it was but then those five unelected judges got together and screwed the whole thing, but I digress, and they can give meaning to the centuries of moral standards which have undergirded this wonderful country called the United States of America.

Please join us in prayer to support a massive prayer offensive that we are going to call Operation So-Called Supreme Court Freedom.

"Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!!" (Matthew 19:12)

George bless you.
Yours in Bush,

Pat Robertson

 

©2003, Mark Hoback