"So, you think that the UN is
gonna help us out a little more next year? Give us more of a hand? What's your take on it, Tony."
"I don't know... I'm sure
deep down they prefer your leadership a lot more than that of Senator
"Old Botox Face."
"I do think
there's still a lot of hard feelings towards us at the U.N. You know, Britain used to
be respected there... It might take some serious
"Not going to be any kowtowing
here, boy. I don't kowtow to nobody. How bout you, Tony? You a kowtower?"
"Not a frequent kowtower,
Mister President, but at least it is in my vocabulary. You sure you wouldn't be
willing to kowtow just a little?"
"I knew you would, Tony.
England is a littler country than America is. Being a little country - and
may I just add that you guys float - sometimes you might find yourself in a
position where it might be in your best interest to kowtow a little bit. But I've got to give you a lot
of credit, man. You sure didn't kowtow to Osausage when he made that peace offer,
did you. The one for Scotland. Remember that?"
"Bin Laden. That's my nickname
for him. You feel free to use that one, okay. Always gets a chuckle."
"Be glad when we get these
elections out of the way. When's yours again?"
"Mine's in two weeks. Two
weeks from today. Yeah... Whoo, boy. You gonna have one?"
"An election. You know. Like
me. Two weeks. Gonna whump some flip-floppin ass."
"I don't know..."
"Yeah, got you. Couple months
ago I was thinking we might not have an election either. Tossed that idea
"Good thing you did, Mister
"Right, right, woulda been a
big disaster. Much better just to say we won no matter what happens."
"Yeah, we just say we won,
that's all. No biggie. Just like last time, but I don't think we need to be
so secretive about it. I think the American people are willing to give a lot
of latitude to a brave commander in chief who's looking after them in the
middle of a doggone war. Who are they gonna believe, the President of the
United States or the sycophants of the biggest flip-flopper ever to be on
the left bank side of Bedhead Kennedy. And what are they going to do about
it, anyway? Take us to court?"
"Mmm. A certain logic..."
"Well, Tony, seems like we've
still got a real
mess on our hands in Iraq, don't we?"
"Yes sir, we certainly do."
"Not a bad mess, though.
God forbid. And he does! I
wouldn't call it a bad mess. Cause it's grounded in good solid thinking, and
people are coming together. You could call it
the kind of a mess that makes the future less messier and more safer."
"I wish I lived in the
"Yeah, that would be real exciting,
to live in the future. How far in the future would you like to live, Tony?
Wait. Don't answer that. Let me give a guess. I'll bet you'd like to live in
the year 3009."
"I think you've done a little
kowtowing in your time, Mister President. I've pondered on it... I think you've kowtowed somewhat to Ariel
"Bullshit. You didn't answer
my question, Tonio. Bout the future. When in the future would you like to
live the best?"
"I suppose 3009 would be just
"Damn fine year, 3009. By then we'll
all have flying cars and colonies on Uranus and talking cabbages."
"You know, all the DNA and
split cell research. Now, let's get back to politics. If I'm not mistaken,
you just called me a kowtower a minute ago."
"I was suggesting that you may
have kowtowed a very small amount to Mister Sharon."
"Did not. You know what I
think of when I hear the word kowtower?"
"Nah, I think of a bunch of
cows in a pyramid, standing on each other's shoulders. That just breaks me
"Well, Tony, this was a
meeting, and I just want to reiterate the fact that you are America's very best
friend, and we really appreciate you guys a lot."
"You're very welcome."
"Ready for the camera