Well, friends, I'm sure that in the future we will all break bread together once again. But this is the last time we'll ever sit in the White House dining room together and fight over the drumstick. So, LETS EAT!


I thought maybe instead of a blessing, we could go all around the table, and everybody could say what it is that they're thankful for. You go first, Laura.

Oh gosh... I'm thankful for friends... and family... and I'm thankful for the seven figure book deal I just received. How about you, Papa Bush?
Same as Laura. And I'm also thankful that I have three great sons.
Three? But you've got four sons... Oh, heh heh. Dad was never all that crazy about Neil, were you, dad? Heh heh. How about you, News Zombie.
There certainly is a plethora of things to be thankful for, Mister President. I guess I'd begin with saying that I'm thankful to FOX News, where I've spent twelve wonderful years as anchor of Special Report with Brit Hume, and I'm certainly thankful that I get to be a panelist on FOX News Sunday, probably the best weekly news show on the air. Speaking of being thankful, who can forget my years as chief White House correspondent for ABC news, or the times I appeared on Nightline and This Week, or the time Peter Jennings got the flu and couldn't come in and who did...
All right, all right, we get it. How bout you, Condi? And try to make it a little snappier than News Zombie. The turkey is starting to get cold.
Why am I always the one who has to make it snappy? Well, then, I'd say that I am thankful for the first black president.
 
Oh no you didn't!
Oh yes she did, Mister President. I'd be thankful if she'd learn to keep her goddamn mouth shut once in a while.
I'm thankful that I don't have to keep it shut anymore, you pompous sack of shit. What about you, Elvis? What are you thankful for?
Good friends and good food, Miss Condi, and my good health. Why don't we cut to the chase, Mister President, before I starve to death. What about you?
I'm thankful to be leaving this job with my sanity intact, Elvis. And I'm thankful for History, which will judge me kindly, much as my Savior Jesus Christ will.
 
I'd really hate to see you count too much on that, George.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha whah hee hee hee hee huh ho ho ho hee ha ha ha ha...
  
Bwah hahahahahahahahahaha.... What?
 
...heh heh heh. Jesus, that was funny.
  
I know, I know. I've got a gift.

 

2008, Mark Hoback