No way, Jose.  My campaign is not some transient thing subject to the whims of Big Death and all it's lackeys. I'm in this race to win it.
Ah, Hillary. You speak of Big Death as though it were a bad thing. And yet, I know for a fact that we have raised funds for you on many occasions. Do you not recall your vote on the House Joint Resolution 114, and how you were rewarded with new credibility in a post-911 world?

A world that you were responsible for creating
. Let's not forget about that, Reaper. It takes a Clinton to clean up after death.
I had hoped that we had moved beyond all that. But if you insist on being pugnacious, I will offer you a chance. A game of chance. If you are able to defeat me, I shall let your campaign live until the sun rises on the day past tomorrow.


Well then, so be it. Meet me next Sunday at Valley View Lanes and I shall bowl my way to a mighty triumph against the abyss.

 

No. I much prefer chess. And we play now.


Let me tell you something. That bishop was expendable to me, because now I've got an opportunity to take your... Hey, Mr. D, did you know your shoe was untied?

 

Oh, really? Just give me a minute here to...

 

That's... That's totally reprehensible. Don't you know that you can't cheat death?

Tough titty, Reaper. You're the one who asked me to play. I'd suggest that if you can't take the heat, you might want to stay out of the kitchen.
I didn't ask you to play, I offered you a chance, and  you have responded with a display of totally unsportsmanlike conduct. You know, even if you win Pennsylvania, you'd have to take it by at least twenty points for it to matter. And then there's the Superdelegate situation. There is no way on earth that you're going to sway that many folks to change their....

La la la, la la la, I can't hear a word you're saying. Just get up and go. Take a holiday, death. Shoo.

Hey, there's your ride. Better get a move on.

 

 

2008, Mark Hoback