and now for hour two of the Sean Hannity Radio Show...

And we're back, here at the one place on the dial where you can get the truth, three hours a day, five days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. In the studio this hour we have one of our favorite guests, the always insightful and occasionally outrageous Ann Coulter. Good to see you, Ann.

Good to see you, Sean. It's been a long time... since last Thursday's Hannity and Colmes show I believe.

Wow, I believe you're right. How time flies. Well, let's you and me make up for lost time. I know you've been following former presidential wannabe Al Gore and his 'global warming' crusade very carefully. Was there anything in his remarks to congress Wednesday that you felt rose above the level of complete and utter nonsense?

Sean, we were supposed to talk about this two days ago... I had a lot of great quotes, some really memorable catch phrases... I was going to debut 'Gore's Ores' with you and give you some really fresh dirt about just what's going on with Ozone Man's zinc mine. I mean, God, do you know what they use zinc for? They make it into pennies and just... there's just a little bit of copper in there, so if they use mainly zinc, they can still bring the cost per unit in below a penny per penny. And zinc is a metal, Sean.

Well, I've heard that Gore has made just millions and millions of suspect money from this extremely caustic zinc mine on his own property over the years. Can you imagine how many pounds of zinc you would have to mine to produce just one million dollars? There's one hundred pennies in a dollar, and times a million... you're probably talking several hundred metric tons...

Sean, there's a lot of conclusions we could have drawn about that if you had called me on Wednesday... Were you drunk, or do you just not know an opportunity when it kicks you in the ass? I sat alone in my apartment waiting for... what? Two hours? Because I know you're never going to do anything except jerk off during hour three of the Sean Hannity Radio Show.

You know me too well, Ann. But anyway, it's just as well that you're here today instead, because this is such an insane news day, it's like the entire world has gone crazy. I mean, Nancy Pelosi and her band of radicals have just chosen to surrender to terrorism by voting on timetable based funding intended to halt the President's war against Islamofascism.

That media whore Nancy Pants is completely irrelevant, Sean. The President is going to veto that bill quicker than Ted Kennedy can say 'scotch on the rocks'. I think it's interesting to note, though, that as soon as the terrorists heard that the house libs might have the votes, they blew up the Iraqi Deputy Prime Minister to celebrate.

Just more blood on the hands of the radical left's far out agenda. I'm telling you, Ann, election '08 can't get here fast enough. My god, that madman Ahmadinejad is abducting British sailors - our very closest ally - and the Democrats would like to see the President unable to respond.

That's all very interesting, Sean, but hardly newsworthy. Perhaps at one time the Brits were our friends but they hardly are now. Their boneheaded decision to cut-and-run in Iraq has probably done more damage to our national resolve than any number of bombs that Osama Obama can throw. Good riddance to them.

Ha ha ha, you have such a succinct manner of stating things, Ann. Tell me, who's got your eye at the moment in the Republican nomination race?

Giuliani, McCain, Romney? Oh god, Sean, there's not a Reagan in the batch of them... Not even a Bush. But I will tell you who I won't be voting for.

Tell me. Duncan Hunter, I'll admit that he's a longshot. Senator Brownback? Don't count him out, Ann. Who? Who? Fred Thompson? Mike Huckabee? Tell me.

You didn't even mention Newt Gingrich, who might just come out and take it all.

Friend of the show, friend of the show. And if Newt announces, I'm sure he'll do it right here on the Sean Hannity Radio Show, not on Letterman like a certain party hack I could mention.

I hear he'll be doing it on Leno, Sean, but the man - and I use that term liberally, ha ha... The man I want to talk about is that execrable Breck Girl John Edwards, a man whose cesspool apparently has no bottom.

If that is not the absolute truth, Ann, I vow to eat a sizzling sirloin from Ruth's Criss Steakhouse. It's amazing... nobody pays any attention to this guy until he accuses you of calling him a faggot. And now that the buzz has died down from that fiasco, Edwards is so desperate for media coverage that he parades his wife's cancer out in front of the camera. Disgraceful.

Oh god, Sean, he sees this as a golden opportunity and he's going to ride if for all it's worth, shameless opportunist that he is. Edwards doesn't care about his wife - I mean, how could he? You just watch and see how long it is before he's allowing the press to film her chemo sessions.

Well it's not going to work. Americans are going to understand that this is nothing but a cynically opportunist attempt to get out the sympathy vote. And you've got to wonder how all of this plays out in the fantasies of the lonely liberal career girls whose most glorious dream in life is to somehow become First Lady.

It's not just lonely liberal career girls either, if you know what I mean. The one thing that I have yet to hear the left wing media mention is the very real possibility that Edwards intentionally did this to his wife.

That's a little far fetched even for us, Ann. You can't just go and give somebody cancer.

That's very true, Sean. But you can give them Aids.

You didn't! Oh, man, our phones are going to be ringing off the hooks in just about a minute... Sheesh, Ann... You don't have any proof that that's true, do you?

I don't have any proof that it's not, Sean, so I think that it's incumbent on Edwards that he come forth and prove whether he's clean or not. If he's a carrier, we need to know about it.

Well, there you have it from our very own Ann Coulter. We'll be back in a minute to take your calls, but first, a word from our sponsors.

Look out, Sean, there's a black man behind you.

©2007, Mark Hoback