The 8,175th Temptation of Christ
|
 Well,
Sir, I sure do appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to meet
with me this afternoon. I reckon that Dana has already briefed you on the
general outlines of the proposal that I'm making... Can I get you something
to drink? A diet Coke or a cup of coffee or something? |
 A
glass of wine would be nice. |
|
Karl,
you mind telling the steward to bring in a bottle of something good for
Mister Christ? So anyway, Jesus, what we're looking at here is a way to
avoid a disaster for the Republic party. |
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Disasters
are bad. |
 You
got that right. And I would just like to ask you to take a look at the
Republic presidential field. Giuliani, McCain, Romney, Thompson... whole
bunch of others... thing is, there's not a heir apparent in the entire lot
of them, not what with, you know, the Democrats painting us into a corner
with that whole Iraq thing and all. |
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They
painted you into a corner, did they? |
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They
sure did, old buddy, and at this point I just don't think that without... I
don't know... it's depressing... you know, I try to keep up a strong front
for the American people, and... sometimes even the president of the United
States can get the blues... |
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I
understand. |
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I
know you do, and I want you to know that I appreciate it. So... what I'd
like to ask of you is if you would consider stepping in to be my vice
president. |
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Oh,
I doubt very seriously that Cheney would voluntarily step down. |
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He
would if you asked him, I just know it. Now, hear me out on this... |
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Go
on. |
 Well,
just imagine it, what a team. George and Jesus. Together we could accomplish
anything, even fix Social Security. And here's the best part. With a little
experience as the Veep, you'd be a shoe in as the next president. What do
you think? |
|
I'm
very flattered. But George, you know I've been offered earthly power before. |
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But
that was by the Devil! |
 Yeah,
it sure was, and you should have seen his face when I turned him down. Old
Beelzebub had steam coming out of his ears! |
|
Heh
heh, man, I woulda liked to have seen that! So, what you say? You and me,
we're talking about a
team made in Heaven! |
|
George,
George, it's really not that easy. First of all, I'm not a United States
citizen. |
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Not
a problem, Jesus, not a problem. We'll just fix the Constitution. Or ignore
it. |
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I
know, George, I know. But see, there's an even bigger problem. I'm not
corporeal. |
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Corporeal? |
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Right.
It means that I don't have a physical material body, so most people can't
see me and hear me the way you can. |
 Really? |
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Really.
So I would seem to have no choice but to decline your offer. |
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Oh... |
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Sorry. |
 I
don't suppose you'd know whether Moses is busy or not, would you? |