Good morning, my brothers, have you heard the latest babblings to fall from the mouth of Zacarias Moussaoui?
Be still, my soul. Is Moussaoui popping off again? I tell you, that fool does not have the common sense that Allah gives a toaster.
Ha, Mustafa, you do such an injustice to toasters.
Indeed he does, Nurjaman. I think upon the great Syrian sit-com 'My Mother the Toaster', wherein Pusada al-Ramin's mother is reincarnated as a talking toaster. It is much funnier than it's premises would lead you to believe. I tell you now, Zacarias could not hold a candle to the wisdom of that appliance.
I must correct myself my earlier words. The device I was thinking of was the microwave.
In that case, your analogy makes no logical sense.
Of course it does not, for I have had my brain scrambled by reading accounts of the ludicrous ravings of Moussaoui!
I do understand... Our brother Zacarias simply wants to be a big shot. So what does he do? He tells the court that he was supposed to fly a plane into the White House. 'Look at me, everybody, I am such a fine terrorist that I was selected by bin Laden for the big dance'. Ha. What conceit. Did he even know how to fly, Khalid?
Surely you jest, Nurjaman. Zacarias doesn't even know how to zip a fly.
You are referring, no doubt, to his fondness for wearing the godless Western trousers of the infidels.
Those things do look difficult, with their multiple legs, and pockets. And then there is that zipper.
They are not as difficult to operate as you may believe, Nurjaman. I have worn trousers on a number of occasions in the line of duty. They help me to walk among the infidels without arousing their suspicions. In many ways trousers act as a cloak of invisibility.
Maybe so, Khalid, but it is disturbing to me to observe how unflatteringly they emphasize the ass.
I am in solidarity with you on that, my brother. But it occurs to me that our friend Khalid may in fact be a bit of an ass man.
Silence!
Back on topic... Do you know who Zacarias claimed was intended to be his co-pilot? Richard Reed!
Richard Reed, the leader of the Fantastic Four? Truly those were the words of an insane man.
You are thinking of Reed Richards, Mustafa. He refers to Richard Reed, the 'Shoe Bomber'.
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha hoo hee hee hee...
I, too, often chuckle at the very sound of the phrase 'shoe bomber'.
...har har har ho ha ha hee uh hoo ha ha...
How would you like to be stuck with an unfortunate sobriquet like that?
...uh hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha har har...
Silence!
Mmm. So Khalid, do you think that brother Moussaoui has been brainwashed by the Americans into telling them these incriminating things?
No, I do not. It is my belief that he confesses to falsehoods so that he may become a martyr, murdered at the hands of the United States government.
Ooo, sounds to me like someone has been glomming ideas from the decadent infidels of the mainstream media.
Heh heh.
What have you been reading, Khalid - The New York Times? The Huffington Post?
Bwahahahahahaha, ho ho hee hee...
Or maybe you've been watching a little television, hmm? CNN?  Or maybe something a little more fair and balanced? FOX? Al-Jazeera?
...uh hoo hoo hoo, uh hee hee hee...
Silence!
Sorry, Kahlid. It is just that... I have always said that I would rather be a live asshole than a dead martyr.
You are, Mustafa. You are.

 

 

2006, Mark Hoback