I've been working on the railroad
All the livelong day
I've been working on the railroad
Just to pass the time away

Hello folks, this is George W Bush, and I have been working on the railroad all the livelong day. No, I'm not talking about those big ole steam horses, glorious as they may be. I'm talking about the railroad of progress and the locomotive of freedom. You can't stop it and you wouldn't want to try.

Hey George Boosh!

Can't you hear the whistle blowing?

You bet I can, Manmohan man! Rise up so early in the morn! You know, the Gap Band put it best when they sang 'I gotta get up early in the morning, to find me another love'. I've found me another love, Manmohan, and that love is India! I guess everybody knows how much I love democracy, and as the biggest democracy anywhere in the whole wide world, I've got to say, 'India - I gotta whole lotta love'.

Way down inside!

Hey George Boosh - will you buy me a nuclear ring?

You bet I will, Manmohan man! And if that nuclear ring won't shine, Booshie's gonna buy you a porcupine.


A porcupine?

 

Sorry, Manmohan man. It's the only thing I could think of that rhymed. May I ask you, my dear friend, can't you hear the captain shouting, China, blow your horn?

China, won't you blow
China, won't you blow
China, won't you blow your horn
China, won't you blow
China, won't you blow
China, won't you blow your horn

Please to take your hand off my knee, George Boosh.

 

Man oh man, Manmohan man. Love don't come cheap and love don't come easy. It's a hefty price, a price that says stand by your man. Check it out -

Someone's in the kitchen with China
Someone's in the kitchen I know
Someone's in the kitchen with China
Strumming on her old banjo!

In India, we prefer to use the less vulgar phrase 'strumming on her old sitar', but never mind, you are our guest. Furthermore, I believe I know who you are speaking of when you refer to the diddlization of China. My sworn arch-nemesis, Pervez Musharraf.

Correcto mondi, Manmohan man. But don't you worry about the Perv and the fact that I'm gonna see him on Saturday night. Cause it's only make believe, you know it's only just for show.


Fie, fi, fiddly i o
Fie, fi, fiddly i o o o o
Fie, fi, fiddly i o
Strumming on her old banjo...

 

2006, Mark Hoback