...my question is for all of the candidates. I would like for each of you to look at the candidate to your left and tell the audience one thing you like and one thing you dislike about that particular candidate. And remember, be honest.

Let me remind the questioner that as the moderator I am under no obligation, nor do I have the requisite discipline needed to ensure honesty from the candidates. Senator Gravel, you may begin.
Moi? Oh my, this is my lucky day. I don't get a lot of questions, and here I am getting to set the tone for everybody else... Should I be serious? Or perhaps a little levity is in order, eh? Yes, I do believe that would be the way to go... But, Anderson? Who is that man on my left? I don't know the sonofabitch from Adam.
Okay.

Senator Gavel chooses to not answer the question.

We'll move on to you, uh... uh...

Dodd. Chris Dodd, the white-haired senator from Connecticut. I like John Edwards. I love his wife Elizabeth and his family, and I think we've had enough of negative in politics. I have nothing negative to say about the gentleman.

I'll bet you're a lot of fun at parties.

You're not going to answer the question either. All right. Senator Edwards?

Present and accounted for, Anderson.

I admire what Senator Clinton has done for America, what her husband did for America, but I'm not so sure about that jacket.

 

Why, you little bitch.

What the hell is wrong with you, Edwards? You say something substantive, maybe that's okay, but you're going to give the lady grief about her jacket? Cracker fool.

You get that hand out of my face, Osama, or I'm gonna cut it off.
Hey, check it out, everybody, Haircut Boy thinks he's a tough guy. Come on, Haircut Boy, you and me, one on one, right outside the studio.
Hey, just sayin that I thought you were the 'Good Humor Girl', Hillary. You got change for a thousand? I'd like to buy a couple Dreamsicles.

 

I was going to say that Hillary's jacket is really very nice.

I'm thinking little Johnny Hothead here might be more interested in something like a banana split, maybe with some crushed nuts.
You are dead to me, Richardson, dead I tell you. I'm taking you totally out of consideration for my vice president.
This is Anderson Cooper signing off for CNN here at the fourth Democratic debate in Charleston, South Carolina, where John Edwards has managed to destroy everyone's buzz. Stay tuned for Larry King Live with tonight's very special guest, Fred Thompson's wife.

 

 

2007, Mark Hoback