Disturbed by rumors that they have been devastated by the US military, and aghast at rumors that some generals are discussing a declaration of victory, al-Qaeda in Iraq has released a new video which declares that they are very much alive, while their IT branch has unleashed a new computer virus that threatens to bring the American economy to it's knees.
The virus, which began it's rampage mere hours ago, is spread by a harmless looking email sent out under the subject line of 'Presidential Candidate Fred Thompson's Wife (nude)'. Immediately upon opening, the message replicates itself to all addresses in the user's mail list, denoting the user as the sender. Adding insult to injury, when one clicks on the picture in order to get 'a Fred's eye view', they are immediately redirected to the Ashar Qa Lawsat website, where all of their fonts are replaced with Arabic.
Although most government and businesses have adequate firewalls to protect against the virus, there are reports that the operational offices of all seventeen presidential candidates have ground to a halt, resulting in chaos that may keep them offline till the end of the week.
The video, first posted late last night, has been translated into English and has been airing all day at FOX News under the banner 'AQI: Not Dead Yet?'. In it, al-Qaeda in Iraq insist that not only are they not dead, but that they feel like taking a nice walk.