In his third act of vehicular destruction in the past two years, Joel yesterday crashed his car into the house of an elderly woman while on his way to pick up a pizza. (They don't deliver in the Nassau area?) Aside from cracking the foundation of her home and damaging a wall, he took out several very nice shrubberies.
Tom Phillips saw the accident from the safety of his parent's front yard. "When we found out it was Billy Joel, we were like holy cow, this is Billy Joel," he said, before rounding up the neighbors to help separate house and car.
"I can't believe I got in another accident," Joel laughed as he exited the vehicle. Phillips added. "I think he was embarrassed he lost control - that's why I think he was trying to be a joking guy and laugh it off." Well, either that, or he might possibly have been a little wasted
Like that coyote, Joel survived the accident with only a cut finger, which required no medical attention. Joel's ivory-ticklers have been in constant danger in recent times. Earlier in the month, Billy had to go to an emergency room for stitches after cutting his finger while opening a can of cannellini beans. And last Autumn, he 'slipped' in his house and broke his wrist.
The victim of his car, Maria Dono, told the New York Post, ""I had been working on the yard all morning. It was nice and clean, then I came back and saw all this mess." She also relayed that she had no idea who the hell Joel ways, but that he wasn't much of a driver. "I'm 94 years old and I still drive. I've never had an accident."
This was Joel's third significant auto accident in less than two years, all of them close to his home. In June of 2002, he crashed his 1999 Mercedes into a fire well after losing control of the car. He required no medical treatment. No charges were filed or field sobriety tests given. ("No problem, Mister Joel. Can I get an autograph for the wife?")
In January of 2003, Joel crashed his 2002 Mercedes Benz into a tree and had to be cut out of the vehicle. He had to spend one night in the hospital for observation of a bump on his bulbous head. And again, no charges were filed nor field sobriety tests given. Do you really need to ask about last Saturday? Stone cold sober, he was.
incident has prompted Joel to write some really bitching lyrics for a new
song, to be titled 'Banana Man'.
Well, It's nine o'clock on a
I say, "Son, can you get
that with extra cheese?
La la la, de de da
I'm the really unlucky Piano
Now John at the bar is a
friend of mine
He says, "Billy I don't want
to ride with you
Oh, la la la, de de da
Get into the car, I'm the
I can't open
a can of cannellini beans
Oh, la la la, de de da
©2004, Mark Hoback