Michael Jackson's Fashion Disaster   
Mr. Blackwell

Oh, my. I am saddened. Almost beyond speaking. But not quite. Even though his world may be crumbling in a thousand small ways, there is one compliment that I have always been willing to hand to the Man in the Mirror. He always knows how to dress.

Dazzling, at times, dramatic at others, or just ready to dance his heart out, Michael does have the look, and oh how he flaunts it. He knows that real stars are born and not made, dressed rather than simply clothed. The genius behind 'Dancing Machine' is one of the few people on earth that I know who can wear a waistcoat with sufficient dignity.

So I was crushed, Michael, to see you in pajama bottoms tonight. I must say, you reminded me of Dorothy Lamour - not a good thing, not a look for a still vibrant young rock singer such as yourself. A sarong, I think you could have pulled that off, but a pajama bottom, no no no no no no no.

You went outside without your makeup, didn't you? It's not a wise decision, Michael. I disagree with those who say you look like a rotting corpse, but even the queen of style, Elizabeth Taylor, applied fresh lipstick on the night she accidentally inhaled a turkey leg at the Richard Burton Funeral ball and had to be wheeled out with her dress above her knees.

Michael - please phone me. AND DO NOT USE THOSE NEGRO BODYGUARDS. A tie clasp? Shudder. Everybody, and I mean everybody, is using Polynesians these days, and we do so count on you to show us a stylish way to suffer.


2005, Mark Hoback