Jennifer Saddened by Asian Earthquake

Jennifer Aniston spoke to the London Times this morning, expressing her sorrow that a 7.6 magnitude earthquake had struck along the India-Pakistan border and killed more than 1700 people.

"It's so sad," said Aniston, who knows firsthand heartbreak beyond no other. "It's like, one moment you're there, and the next thing you know, you're wiped off the very face of the earth. Life is so very fleeting... I know just how the dead people feel. Sometimes I wish that I were dead. But not today. Today is another day."

Today, in fact, marks the one week anniversary of Jennifer's divorce from actor Brad Pitt, a relationship that many say was doomed from the start. "Doomed from the start," repeats the sad-eyed Aniston, sipping slowly from a half gallon bottle of Olive Hill Spring Water. "Maybe I am doomed from the start. Courtney says that I'm just a Gloomy Gus and that rainbows shine off in the distance."

Jennifer pauses, and like the actress she so truly is, stares off in the distance. Then she makes the cutest little face you've ever seen. Albeit sad. "But Courtney's a real bimbo."


2005, M Hoback