On Saturday, Paul McCartney became the first ex-Beatle to ever beam a concert into outer space when two songs were broadcast to the international space station. "I've got me amplifier turned up to 11," shouted McCartney, "so I hope you can hear me." Actually, there was no need to shout, as he was demonstrating NASA's new atomic microphone. The device worked perfectly.

"Here's a song I wrote without John," McCartney told the surprised astronauts, before launching into 'Good Day Sunshine'. "All he did was play the bloody tambourine."

"That was simply marvelous," said Russian cosmonaut Valery Tokarev, who like many of his countrymen, had first heard the Beatles after they brought down the Berlin Wall. "Perhaps we could now talk you into playing 'Come Together'."

"Not bloody likely," replied McCartney. "That's one of John's songs, and I'll be damned if I'm going to broadcast the old buzzard across the universe."

"Oh, come on," cajoled American astronaut Bill McArthur. "In the spirit of international cooperation."

"Listen up, spaceman, I'm the musician here and I'll play what I please. Now here's a song off my new album."

"New album?," cried the two in unison. "Give us a break, Sir Paul."

"Listen here, guys. You keep complaining and I'm going to open up a can of 'Silly Love Songs' on your ass. Or maybe 'Uncle Albert'. What do  you say to that?"

"We've got a volume control."

"Wise guys, huh? Well maybe you can just take the long and winding road back to earth."

"Okay, okay. Something off the new album, then. Sigh..."


2005, Mark Hoback