No Credit? No Sweat!
Howdy there, I'm Ronald A. Grecula from Ronnie's Bomb World, and do I ever have a bomb for you!
Ronnie, you tell me, I don't have me the money to buy any of those fancy-pants big bruisers of yours. Well, don't sweat it, mister! Here at Ronnie's Bomb World, just off of Crocker Road in beautiful downtown Bangor, we have a bomb for every budget!
Do you have a steady job that brings in at least $325 a week? If so, we can fix you up with instant credit. All our bombs are hand crafted using recycled materials so that we are able to pass the savings on to you.
See the gentleman up above? He came to Ronnie's Bomb World looking for an economical device that still had enough power to create a reasonable amount of havoc. But Ronnie, he told me, I am but a lowly soldier in the army of Allah, and my wallet is thin and meager. No problem! Ronnie's Bomb World has a seven-days-a-week ten percent discount for all active duty military!
I showed the good Sergeant one of our dirty bombs. Radioactive? Radioactively good prices! We have a selection of bombs that are dirty because we're so overstocked that we have no place to keep them except out in the potato patch! We're insanely overstocked! Come on down and take advantage of our burgeoning inventory!
Say the phrase that pays, "Ronnie, I hate America", and get two free tickets to see 'Revenge of the Sith'. We said absolutely free! This week only, buy two bombs, get the third for only a dollar! Are we crazy? You bet we are, and we've got the savings to prove it!
Ronnie's Bomb World. Hours 8PM to 4AM Monday through Friday. Appointment not necessary. Please, no FBI or CIA need apply.
Ronnie's Bomb World - We Put The Bang In Bangor!
©2005, Mark Hoback