|Catholics Confused by Conclave
Vatican watchers admitted to being confused as all get out by signals emanating from the top secret papal conclave at the Vatican. Earlier today, a cloud of pink smoke was seen rising from the rooftop of the Sistine Chapel.
"We do not know the half of their mysterious ways," said Maria Andover, a Catholic from Butte, Montana. "Of course, white smoke means that a new pontiff has been selected, and black smoke means they can't make up their blinking minds. But what about all the other colors? They won't even discuss those."
A spokesman for the secluded one hundred and fifteen cardinals stated that he would not even discuss the matter. Meanwhile a large crowd has gathered on the west side of the Sistine Chapel, where observers say that an image of Clay Aiken has mysteriously appeared.