Charles Faces Terrible Dilemma

Prince Charles finds himself grappling with a decision that may well affect history's judgment of his final placement in the Pantheon of Princes.

On Friday, the prince is scheduled to finally wed Camilla Parker Bowles. The ceremony had been postponed for years, held until the general public came to common agreement that the couple were too old to reproduce. The public, as well as the queen, gave approval a scant few weeks ago.

Now the Vatican has gone and ruined everything by scheduling Pope John Paul II's funeral for the very same day, in a totally different country.

"Bloody 'ell," said Camilla, "it's a friggin conspiracy, that's what it is all right. He's old, he is, no good keeping him above ground all that time, let's just be done with it, know wot I mean? But if you simply must go to all that fuss, why not wait until Sunday, then, when folks are dressed up to begin with?"

A spokesman for the house of Charles said that at this point the wedding plans were still on, "but we remain sensitive to events that are happening elsewhere around the world, and are continuing to assess the situation."

"On my face or on your tail, you bleedin' monkey," Camilla responded to the haughty spokesman. "What, Charles is some sort of Superman, he's going to fly off and save the day if something 'appens somewhere in the world? When 'as he ever done something like that before? Assess this, you wankers; the prince bails on Friday because of some bloody funeral, he'll be keeping those blue balls into the next millennium."


2005, Mark Hoback