Rush Swallows Tongue; Finds it
to be Delicious
FGAQ went in for a bout of toughness training yesterday, listening to all three hours of the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Excellence in Broadcasting, eggs on a plate.
Actually, we didn't plan on the marathon, but were interested in whether he would speak to the foolhardiness of his many, many hours of acid tinged talk on the Terri Schiavo matter. Or maybe just spin it as delightfully as Hannity did. ('I was right about everything!' was the gist of the Vacant One's comments.)
Rush, of course, chose to pretend that the day's biggest media story did not exist, and so he never addressed it. Towards the end of his show, however, he learned about a comment from Senator Dick Durbin on the Guantanamo Bay prison. (Or as Rush calls it, Camp Gitmo.). To wit:
Doesn't sound that radical to you? Well, that's because you hate your country. Rush, on the other hand, went apeshit, which was really tragic, because he only had a few moments left on the air.
"We deserve to lose this war," he shouted. "If we're going to be led by such idiocy and such ignorance as this, we deserve to lose it." And then he swallowed his tongue.
After emergency surgery at Palm Springs General Hospital, Limbaugh was released, following a few hours rest. Early reports were that Limbaugh had actually masticated his tongue before swallowing, but these were apparently in error, as he returned to his show today as loquacious as ever, continuing his rant precisely where he had left off.
In related news, Gene Simmons of the rock band Kiss, is recovering at a hospital in Atlanta from a vicious tongue-lashing which nearly left him speechless. Waving the special Kiss hand symbol for reporters, the aging rock star said, "Ib I eddah fond ow ooh did dis tuh me, I guhn ick is udduh uckin aah".
©2005, Mark Hoback