War on Christmas Takes 500th Victim
Credit for the attack was quickly claimed by the Santanistas, an urban guerilla group that just really hates Christmas. KXMS-TV read a missive which they claimed had been sent by the shadowy group's elusive leader, Harry Cardigan. "Bah Dasher, bah Dancer, bah Prancer and Vixen," the note read in part. "Bah Comet, bah Cupid, bah Richard M Nixon". The last reference probably refers to the former president's statement that Christmas was his favorite time of year.