Time Travelers Leave MIT With Historic Mess


The Time Traveler Convention held at MIT's Morss Hall this past Saturday night turned out to be much more successful than anyone had predicted. The idea, hatched by graduate student Amal Dorai, was to have been a one time event.

"You only need one," he had theorized, "since people in the future can keep going back to it. Heck, maybe it's a crazy idea, but if just one person shows up, it will be the greatest event in history. I guess. Okay, maybe not the greatest - that would have been the invention of the bong. But it's definitely in the top ten."

The Harvard Crimson reported this morning that the party had been a flop, with not a single time traveler attending. Speculation was that the lack of liquid libation was a contributing factor to the failure. "Oh well," said Dorai. "Damn."

That was before janitor Clem Bernstein arrived earlier today to give Morss Hall a good cleaning. He found that it had been "completely trashed. There were beer cans everywhere and pizza boxes thrown haphazardly around, their contents strewn over all the good furniture. The carpet is just ruined. The future can just go to hell for all I care."

"Oh man, I could have sworn I said the 7th," Dorai said in disbelief when confronted with his original invitation. "I'm a real doofus." In spite of his missed opportunity, he does feel that he now has proof of the reality of time travel. "Did you see those beers? Budweiser Silver Stout - dude, that hasn't even been invented yet."

"Aye-yi-yi," stated Dean Wally Marshall, pictured at left. "We seem to have created an untenable conundrum, wherein people of the future will party their way into critical mass, traveling back in time to the convention, over and over, until it's even bigger than Woodstock. It makes my head want to fly off my shoulders."

 

2005, Mark Hoback