Fans of the Fab Four had new reason to mourn today, as Paul McCartney threatened the release of 'Carnival of Light', one of only two tracks rejected by producer George Martin from the 36 disc 'Beatles Anthology', (the collection of alternative versions, rejected tracks, and unmitigated crap released on eighteen separate double CDs between 1985 and 1994).

McCartney told the BBC that the track was inspired by his love of avant garde composers John Cage and Karlheinz Stockhausen, musicians whose influence was prominent in his later recordings such as 'Silly Love Songs' and 'Wonderful Christmastime'.

McCartney, who apparently had the best drugs in the band, says that he asked the other Beatles to be "indulgent" with him.

"I said all I want you to do is just wander around all the stuff, bang it, shout, play it, it doesn't need to make any sense. Hit a drum then wander on to the piano, hit a few notes, just wander around. So that's what we did and then put a bit of an echo on it. It's very free."

"This is really quite an honor, I suppose," said the spirit of Stockhausen, who died in December of 2007 shortly after hearing 'Carnival of Light'. "You've really nailed the essence of my work, Sir Paul. That's exactly what I did - wander around and bang stuff. May I suggest that you pad out your CD with your marvelous version of John Cage's 4:33? Hold on, there's someone here who wants to speak to you."

"It's bloody rubbish, mate," said the legendary ghost of John Lennon. "I figure, here I am in Hell, what else can they do to me? Now they're playing 'Carnival of Light' on Radio Hades at the top of every hour."


2008, Mark Hoback