Speculation in Washington is running rampant on who might be selected to replace Chief Justice John Roberts, should he die from injuries sustained during a fall at his Port Clyde summer home. Roberts took a tumble earlier today when he tripped over the hem of his big black robe while rushing to his TV room to watch 'Texas Justice'.

"He just loves that Judge Larry Joe so very, very much," said Janice Wheaton, who has worked for Roberts as a housekeeper for fourteen years. "If you were to ask him yourself, he would say that he likes all the court shows, but I know that Texas Justice is special to him. I always bring him fresh coffee and a basket full of Texas toast right before show time. That's how I found him this morning, laying there on the floor with the remote still clutched in his hand, going 'ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch'. It was a pitiful sight. Well... if the worst happens, I know he would like to be replaced by that nice Larry Joe."

Although a spokesman would not speak about any possible injuries, he said that Roberts was taken to the the hospital purely as a precaution. "But you never really know, do you?" he added, snapping his fingers. "He could be gone just like that. If you're going to wear those robes at home, you've got to be darn careful about the stairs."



2007, Mark Hoback