In another sign of just how litigious American society has become, New York cable news reporter Adele Sammarco has filed a harassment suit against station NY1, claiming they created a 'hostile workplace'.

Among the so-called incidents was a 'kissing attack' by the weekend anchor, her redundant nickname of BBB (Big Butt Booty), her winning of the 'Biggest Boobs' award at the company Christmas dinner, a blooper tape that the station made showing Sammarco and an assistant trying to fix her skirt's zipper, the above artistic rendering of her assets presented to the staff as part of their Christmas bonus, and other complaints too trivial to report.

"Aw, jeez," said News Director Peter Landis, "it seems like that bitch is always complaining about one thing or another. It's not my fault that she has enormous hooters. You're going to have to blame God for that one."

Vice President of Programming and aspiring artist Steve Paulus was also confounded by the petty lawsuit. "What? Did she say I made her tits too small? Well I didn't, and I've got dressing room footage to prove it, if she wants to make a big deal out of this."


2006, Mark Hoback