The new Venezuelan flag is just too wacky for words

Senator John McCain appeared on Fox News Sunday yesterday to sound the alarm over the escalating energy crisis facing the United States, and to urge expansion of alternative sources, including nuclear power. He took special care in addressing the fruitcakes in Venezuela, noting that "We better understand the vulnerabilities that our economy, and our very lives, have when we're dependent on Iranian mullahs and wackos in Venezuela. I mean, that guy Chavez, what can I say? To quote John Prine, 'you talk about your paper route, he's a shut-in without a home'. Did that sound hip? Did that sound relevant? I'm working on it, I'm working on it, and I'm not too old for you."

McCain would seem to have a good point, as the new Venezuelan flag is downright silly. Not content with having changed his country's name to 'the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela', Chavez has added an eighth star to the nation's flag.

"Holy crap," said McCain, "you can't just run around adding stars willy-nilly. That's the way to madness. What, did Venezuela add a new state or something? If so, I didn't hear about it. And the horse, the sad, sorry horse. Not only did Chavez change him from running right to running left, but he put the poor beast upside-down."

Chavez quickly responded to the remarks, calling McCain a man with 'little or no taste'. "Hey, the flag, it looks good. You've got all of your primary colors in there, you got your red, your blue, your yellow. And you've got yourself a real nice horse. McCain, wake up you bobble-head, the horse isn't upside-down, it's you, looking at the flag upside down."

Chavez went on to criticize the proposed new design for the US flag, saying that it gave him a headache. Unlike a wacko dictatorship such as Venezuela, the new American flag will not become the official symbol of liberty until it is acted upon by congress. The vote is expected to be split along party lines.



2006, Mark Hoback