Thing continue to go downhill for young Prince Harry, the lad who's only a couple of heartbeats away from the royal throne of the mightiest kingdom ever to sail the seven seas.

Following quickly on the bad news express which only two days ago informed the future king that he would not be going to Baghdad ("You'll get us all killed, young Prince Harry!"), he has now been ordered to 'lie low' while the rest of his unit is deployed.

Sources close to the Prince report that his initial reaction was to throw up his arms and yell "Bloody 'ell."

"It has been made clear that these drunken nights out are strictly off limits," said a Royal Source*. "Harry now totally accepts how bad it would look for him to be out enjoying himself while others risk their lives."

"Bloody 'ell," said young Prince Harry, slamming down his frothy pint. "You best be shutting yer bleedin' mouth before I 'ave to shut it for you."

"God forbid," said the Royal Source**, apparently undeterred, "but you only have to imagine the front page if we had lost a Blues and Royal at the same time Harry was photographed out on the razzle."

"A razzle?" shouted young Prince 'arry, I mean Harry. "Wot the sod is a bleedin' razzle? Oh, bloody 'ell, bloody 'ell, bloody 'ell."

*Yes, the British press does call them Royal Sources.

**In London, they call a 'Royale a 'Quarter Pounder with Cheese."



2007, Mark Hoback