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Thump. Thump. Thump thump thump. Oh man, I wish I had some arms. Then I could punch my way out of this box instead of just banging it with my head.
Did somebody here say wish?
Oh. It's just you.
And us.
And you four? Ya know what? Why don't you just shut the damn door right back up if you're not going to help me out.
Hey, buddy, you know we haven't gone and forgotten...
Don't you call me buddy, Turd Blossom. I'll fry your ass. I'm still Mister President to you, box or no box.
I'm so sorry, sir, but I call Jambi Mister President now.
I'll still call you Mister President, Mister President.
How can you be loyal to a six-thousand year old freak from the east, for chrissakes?
It's like this, George. Jambi is turning things around in this country. He's starting to get our message on track again. It's all about communication, and he's talking to the press, he's talking to the people...
And he's folksy, George, even folksier than you. On his first few outings, he's been charming the pants off the people. I do believe he has the power to save our legacy.
He's damn good. He didn't even fuck up once at the Cancun summit.
Language, please.
Yes sir, no disrespect to you, but that Jambi is a natural. Why, we've even come up with a new slogan to celebrate the turnaround - 'Let Bush Be Bush'.
A little ironic, don't you think?
Yes I do. Just like my character in 'Legally Blonde' that everybody thought was such an airhead and then turned out to be the smartest girl of all.
So anyway, we were just on our way to meet with the president and wanted to stop by to give you some good news. Jambi has penciled you into his schedule from 8:55 till 9:10 for Genie lessons. It won't be long now until you're able to use those purportedly mystical powers of yours.
Harrumph. Well, I guess it's better than what I'm working with at the moment. With magic powers, maybe I could turn myself back into myself
Well there you go. You've got yourself an agenda.
Big time
That's the spirit, George. Now you take it easy. You want to be good and rested for your appointment with Jambi.
'You want to be good and rested for your appointment with Jambi'. Get out of here, all of you. Just get out!
Me too?
No, Reese, you can stay. Aside from being my new Chief of Staff, you're about the only friend in the world that I have right now.
Thank you.
Say, Reese, you didn't happen to see any of the season opener between the Reds and the Cubs did you? I was supposed to throw out the first pitch. I bet Jambi can't throw the old ball like I can.
I haven't heard. I'll turn on the radio.
...the president of the United States. I want any of you who think that the president has been weakened by the constant liberal attacks to try and see video of his marvelous performance at the Cincinnati Reds ball park today. George Bush threw out a pitch that I honestly believe was comparable to the greats. I was reminded of Roger Clemens. This reinvigorated president looks every inch the virile reincarnation of...
Reese... Close me back up.
Okay.

 

2006, Mark Hoback