|
|
 ...so
the screenwriter is a real cad, a funny guy, well respected, but he treats
the people close to him like crap. Then one day he meets a beautiful young
girl named Naomi... |
 That's
the part you wrote for me? |
|
Right.
And he's just smitten, he falls head over heels in love. But he's still the
same old guy deep inside, and before long he's trying to manipulate Naomi,
he's putting her down in front of her friends, he's treating her like a
child. What he doesn't know, though, is... |
|
She's
smarter than she looks. Does she break his heart? |
|
Why,
yes. Yes she does. So will you do the picture? |
|
Oh,
Woody, I would love to work with you, but I'm afraid I've got to say no. I
won't be taking on any new projects for a while. |
|
But...
But... Why? |
|
You've
got to promise not to tell anyone... I'm staying in Washington for a while.
I'm doing some very important work for the government. |
|
What?
You're not some sort of a secret agent, are you? |
|
No.
I'm the Secretary of Wishes. |
 |
|
To
make a long story short, the president got mixed up with this Genie, and
they ended up trading brains. Now the president is trapped inside of a box
on a table in the Oval Office and the Genie is running the country... |
|
|
|
And
I'm kind of like the real presidents personal envoy... I don't know... I
don't really have a job description... |
|
I
don't know how to break this to you, Reese, but your story has a certain air
of unbelievability to it. |
|
I
know. It is unbelievable. Here's a picture. |
 |
|
Oh
my God, you're right. The president has turned into a Genie! Somebody
get me a typewriter, I feel a script coming on. Soon Yi, come here and take
a look at this. |
 Oh
look, Woody. It's Jambi, the most powerful Genie in all of Indonesia. |
|
Except
he's not very powerful anymore. The only thing he's able to do is open and
shut things with his mind. And travel through space by thought. But only for
a few seconds at a time. |
|
That's
amazing. I wish that I could see him for myself. |
| =poof= |
 Did
somebody here say 'wish'? |
|
Hi. |
|
Oh
my God, it's the president of the United States. Can I just... |
|
No
time for idle chatter, Woodman. I've got to ask you to do something for your
country. |
|
Anything. |
|
You've
got to get my story out. You've got to tell the world how traitors have... |
| =poof= |
|
Freaky. |
|
Oh
my God, this is amazing, this is unbelievable, I don't know what to say. The
president wants my help, but how? what does he want me to do? I mean, there
are so many possibilities. The mind boggles when I... |
|
You
can ask him your self. He's usually able to pop up a couple of times before
he has to rest. |
|
But
if I only knew what... |
| =poof= |
|
I
need you to make a film, Woodman. Explain this nefarious plot to the world
and tell them... |
|
Nefarious
plot, that's good. The Nefarious Plot. Okay. I've already got my title. But
what kind of movie would it be? A comedy? Somehow that just doesn't seem
right. But then nobody goes to see my dramas... |
|
Nobody
goes to see any of your movies anymore. |
|
I
know, I know, and it's starting to make me mental. How can untalented hacks
like the Cohen Brothers continue to get financing while I have to go to the
studios with my hat in my hand and tell them... |
|
Will
you cut the chatter before I... |
| =poof= |
|
I
guess we didn't give him much chance to talk. |
|
I
understand, but these are questions that need to be answered. I mean you
can't just go about these things willy nilly. Sure I've got the outline but
what's the tone? I haven't even begun to think about the screenplay. And is
he thinking of playing himself in this film? I'm thinking more along the
lines of Will Ferrell, but only if it's a comedy, otherwise I think I'd lean
much more in direction of... |
|
A
simple yes or no would do. |
|
...and
then there's my shooting schedule. I'm already shooting The Square Circle in
London, then I'll be back in New York for Cave Judy. And then there's the
new script that I was telling you about... |
| =poof= |
|
Well?
What'll it be? |
|
Yes,
Mister President. I'll do it. |
|
Great.
When can we start? |
|
I'm
probably looking at Fall '08 but that's not a definite... I mean if shooting
goes long on Cave Judy or I feel so emotionally compelled by my new script
that I have to shoot it right away or, God forbid, if I have to... |
|
|
|
Not
a word of gratitude from the man... |
