21

 

 

...and so you have to be strong in what you believe, and steadfast, because people like that in a leader. Now the short skirts are great, but I really think you need to move towards greater cleavage. That's the future. Hey, could you have one of your assistants get me a cheeseburger? All the way, baby. And maybe a Red Bull. Red Bull gives you wings, just like the ad says. Speaking of flying...
Oh, Christ... What the hell is he doing on there?
Good work for just a couple days notice, huh? The President said he wanted to be on Katie Couric's final show, and the Snowman made it happen. But... I was under the impression that he was going to be talking about immigration.
We've got no choice but to take you into our confidence, Snow. That's not really the President.
You see, the real George Bush has been replaced by Jambi the Genie, who used his magic powers to perform an ancient mind meld technique on him...
WOW!!! That is absolutely amazing! I guess that explains why the President acts so different than the one I know from TV! I've never seen a president use so much cocaine! And he can drink a bottle of...
We thought it was a good idea when we set up the transfer... We thought we'd end up with a more competent front man and a president who could grant us magical wishes...
But the poll numbers are worse than ever. Jambi is getting out of control. And the president hasn't learned to grant wish one.
He really seems to hate us now, but I think he'll get over if we can only switch them back.
As we speak, Reese Witherspoon is on a secret mission to bring us the one man who can train George W Bush in the Way of the Genie. It's our only hope.
WOW!!! Reese Witherspoon! You know, this has to be about the coolest job ever. If I ever thought...
I believe Ms Witherspoon is on her way in now.
Hi.
Did you find him, Reese? Did you find the one man that can teach the president the secret of the Jambi Mind Meld?
Sure. He's coming in right behind me. Allow me to introduce Mr Paul Reubens.
Hello, everybody.
Oh. My. God.
Bwah hahahahahaha...
WOW!!! Peewee Herman! A pleasure to meet you, sir!
Heh, heh... I guess old George is up the creek without a paddle now.
Whoa! This is not the friendly greeting you promise me, Reese.
Listen, everyone, Paul knows more about Jambi than anyone in the world. He was trapped in that Jambi Box for three years and learned all the magic. If anyone can help the president, he can.
Well, umm, okay then, you two go right ahead and give it a shot. Now, if you'll excuse us...
Not so fast. There's something you all need to do first. I understand that there's a lot of hurt feelings on the part of the president for getting him into this mess in the first place. I need you all to tell him you're sorry, so that he'll trust me when I try to help him.
Oh, man. I hate apologizing.
Yeah. Big time.
Hold on, guys. I'll go get the president.
[Knock Knock]
You! It's you guys! The band of traitors! Bastards! I'll see you all hang from the end of a rope! When I'm through with you...
WOW!!! That floating blue head just freaks me out!
Tony Snow, you crazy smilin sonofabitch, you stay out of this! You're not my press secretary! Jambi hired you while I was all locked up! I'll knock you...
George, simmer down for a minute, and let us explain something to you. It was never our intention to have you mind meld with Jambi. You'd have to be insane to believe that. But it was, uh...
It was a matter of the very highest level of national security.
Oh yeah? Like what?
We can't tell you that, George. Like Condi said, It was a matter of the very highest level of national security. But I'll give you a hint - Global War on Terror.
And now, sir, it's imperative that we get you back in your own body. We have a plan that...
Hold on a second. Is that who I think it is?
Hi ya, Mister President.
Peewee! This is great! The world's leading Jambi expert. Guys, I've seen this man tangle with that Genie dozens of times. You can help me get my body back, can't you Peewee.
I'm going to try my best, Mister President.
Great, great. And you can call me George. So tell me, how's that beautiful Miss Yvonne of yours?
Oh, that's a sad story, George. See back in '88, Jambi did a mind meld with me, and took over everything I had. And the very first thing he took was Miss Yvonne. He broke that poor girls heart, George, and I think to this day...
Come on guys, let's go. I think that our work here is done.
He never lets me call him George.
 

to be continued

 

2006, Mark Hoback