22.1

 

I want to ask you something before we get started with our session, Laura. I sense a real physical discomfort in your manner. Can you loosen up a bit? It's very important that you try to let go a bit of your anxiety so that you can express enough of your true feelings to make our sessions worthwhile.
Why, do I seem uptight to you? I'm, uh, fine, I just wanted to get an outside opinion, you know, sometimes...
Laura, you have left your husband and your home, and you are consulting with a psychiatrist. Which is the reason that I am curious as to just why you are grinning like a hyena.
I can't help myself, Dr Melfi. It's like my face has frozen in some kind of horrible rictus.
It is horrible, Laura. Am I correct in assuming that you at least partially understand why this has happened to you?
I have a very high profile job, Dr Melfi... I guess, maybe not a job, but a role... You... You might even have seen me before.
I might have, but whether or not I've ever seen you is not relative to our discussion.
It... It might be. You see, my husband is a very powerful man, and he... well, if he knew I was here, I just don't know what he would do.
I assure you, Laura, that everything we discuss is in the strictest confidence. And also understand that I am not intimidated by power. I have one patient, for example, who is a notorious mob boss.
I wish it were so simple... My husband is something so much worse.
You mean...
Yes... He's the president of the United States.
Excuse my lack of professionalism, but Oh My God, you're that Laura Bush? Now I know where I've seen you before. Great googledy moogledy, girl, this session is on the house, and the clock don't have to stop when it hits fifty-five. You and me need to talk, sister.
It's my husband the president, Dr Melfi. I think he may be insane.
Is this something that you're just beginning to notice?
He's delusional... A few days ago we had a house full of guests, and he just flew to Iraq in the middle of the night. And... I think he's having an affair with Reese Witherspoon.
Your husband and Reese Witherspoon? I would think that if that were true it would be all over the news.
Maybe you're the one that's not thinking clearly, Dr Melfi. My husband can subvert the electoral process, lie us into a preemptive war, and screw the Constitution, and the media won't give more than a peep before turning back to Natalie Holloway and Brangelina. I told you my husband's a powerful man, Dr Melfi. He's got the entire country living in fear.
My God, you don't need a psychiatrist, you need a hit man.
Can you help me, Dr Melfi? Can you help me?
I know a man...

to be continued

 

2006, Mark Hoback