|
 I'm
not digging it, Karl, I'm not digging it at all, man. |
 To
be quite frank, sir, it's not diggable in the least. You can't trust those
guys to make the right moves. First Rumsfeld wastes our wish on Reese
Witherspoon, and then the Vice President chases the Genie away. |
|
Well,
we're gonna get Jambi back, Karl. I've got Rummy, Reese and Cheney out
looking for him. The two old guys are on double golden slasher probation if
they don't bring him back. They might not be able to find Osama, but they
sure as Hell better find my Jambi. |
|
I
sure hope you're right, sir. We sure could use him now... Tell me, does he
grant a new wish everyday, or is it every now and then, whenever he feels
like it? |
|
From
what Reese told me, he does a Monday through Thursday thing, with four weeks
vacation and all government holidays. Plus sick leave. |
|
Ooh,
so we're talking in the neighborhood of 170 wishes a year. Not bad... We
could use more, but that's not bad. |
   We
got him! And we got his little Genie house, too, so he can't slip out on us. |
 These
ruffians have violated at least half of my civil liberties so far today.
Illegal search and seizure of my house while I'm still in it! Have you no
decency? I demand a lawyer. |
|
You
can whine until your face turns blue, weirdo. Welcome to the rest of your
life. |
|
I'm
sorry, Jambi. |
|
Let
me cut to the chase, Jambi. Your country needs you, more than your country
has ever needed you before. |
|
I'm
from Sumatra! |
|
I'd
keep that close to the vest if I were you, partner. We're offering you a
real deal, here. Give him a little background, Rummy. |
|
Jambi,
on September 11th, 2001, this country experienced an attack unlike any other
in our history. We came under attack by the forces of pure evil, and quite
frankly, things have just been going downhill since then. Take a look at
Iraq - we can hide, but we can't run. Iran is a swiftly evolving menace, and
- and you granted Ahmadinejad a wish, didn't you, Jambi? |
|
Ask
me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. Nope. Sorry. Never heard of him. |
|
We
got some guys down at Gitmo that may be able to help you shake some of those
cobwebs out of your head, you big blue bag of shit. |
|
Oh,
my. Lady present. |
|
Carrot,
Mister Vice President. Let's not forget about our carrots. |
|
Stick
it up your ass, Turd Blossom. |
|
|
|
Mister
Jambi, we would like very much for you to work with us. We have a lot of
important decisions facing us, and we really need a lot of wishes. Did I
mention that this was an election year? Anyway, in return for your
cooperation, the president is ready to nominate you to a very special
position. |
|
Which
is? |
|
Secretary
of Wishes. |
|
Bwah
ha ha ha ha ha. Sorry. |
|
Hmm...
That does seem to be right up my alley. I tell you what. Let me sleep on it
and I'll get back with you on the matter tomorrow. |
|
Fair
enough. Fair enough. Do you think, maybe, that we could get a wish for
today? |
|
Oh,
maybe... What would you like? Should I turn your angry red-faced friend into
a pussycat? Hmm? |
|
That's
enough. I wish this turquoise fudge-packer would shut his goddamn pie-hole. |
|
Uh-oh. |
|
Hey,
I didn't say Mekka Lekka Heinie Ho. |
|
|
|
Jambi? |
|
|
|
Oh
come on, Jambi. I don't think you can with good conscience classify that as
a real wish. |
|
|
|
Dick,
you're back in the doghouse! |
|
|