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Previously
on Jambi... It's been a dry spell at the White House, with most of the figureheads now out of the picture. President Bush is leaving North Korea in Jesus's private jet, having tricked Kim Jong-il by conjuring up the Cincinnati Rakers. |
 You
have tricked me this time with your midget basketbarr prayers, George Bush,
but I wirr seek revenge, perhaps with my midget nucrear weapons. |
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Jambi's
fucking useless, holed up in Joe's bar, soaking up booze more efficiently
than a Bounty towel, while using the Secret Service to go for carry-out. |
 Hey
Joe, whash for breakfash? Whynja give me uh redeye an uh coupla cheezh
danishes. An some quarters for the jew box. I feel like shum George Jones... |
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Even
Bush impersonator Steve Bridges has been lost as an administration resource,
forcing Karl Rove to replace him on the campaign trail with a Disney
Animatron, one unable to stay on message. |
 The
Democrats would like you to think
that we can win by staying
the course. Nothing could be
more wrong. You can not afford
to cast your vote for
a bunch of unprincipled
stay-the-coursers... |
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Tonight's Episode: The Big Payback |
 Well,
guys, looks like I got you all back home in one piece. Is everybody happy? |
 Not
really. I've been so busy trying to help the president get his life together
that I didn't even notice that my own marriage was falling apart. Now my
heart is broken into a million little pieces. |
 Big
deal. I still don't have a body. |
 And
I still haven't been able to get the green light for my new Peewee movie.
It's pretty discouraging... I don't know why I even try anymore... |
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Hey,
you whiners, what about my body? I don't see either of you two floating
around as a discorporated head. |
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But
George, you have gained something. You now have The Power. It wasn't me who
summoned up that midget basketball team - it was you. |
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Me?
I did that? Holy... never mind. But, well... I screwed it all up. Jong
wanted the L.A. Lakers, not the Cincinnati Rakers. |
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Not
your fault, George. The Rakers are what he asked for, and the Rakers are what he
received. To truly wish, a man must be pure of heart and clear of tongue. |
 I
wish I were five feet tall. |
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Sorry,
short stuff. George, your hard work has paid off. You have become at least
as powerful as the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. |
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That's
really kind of lame, Jesus. |
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And
it should remind you that you are America's Sweetheart. You'll find a new
guy in a snap, maybe one with a decent career this time. |
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I
do kind of like Hugh Jackman... |
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That
a girl. Hasta la vista, baby.. And Peewee, what you need is courage. Here's
a gun. |
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Wow!
I feel braver already. I'm going over to Lion's Gate and demand they start
pre-production on my movie right now. |
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Go
get em, Peewee. Get out there and have yourselves a great life. And Jesus,
for you I've got... |
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Don't
even go there, George. |
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We've
got things to do, Jesus. A little traveling music, Sam. |
almost concurrently... ...well
the race is on and here comes heartache... |
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Turn
down the jewbox for a secont, wouldja Joe? I wanna lishen to thu guy on thu
teluvision. |
 Sure,
pal, you're the boss. |
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Nod
anymore. I quit! Nother Thorogood Special if ya would, Joe. An make it a
double. |
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Two
scotches, two bourbons, and two beers coming up. |
 I
could use a bit of that medicine myself. Hey, buddy, mind if I join you for
a drink? |
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Aj
long as its okay wid my guys, itsh okay wid me. Ish it okay guys? |
 It's
okay. |
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Bartender,
could I please have a glass of Chateau D'Yquem Sauternes? |
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You
got me there, pal. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. |
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Really?
Well, what about Cote-Rotie La Turque? A '96 if you have it. |
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If
I can't pronounce it, I guarantee that we don't have it. |
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Mad
Dog 20/20? |
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So,
my friend, I see you're watching the president. What's he talking about? |
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Shumpthin
about Nanshy Peloshy's underwear drawer. |
 ...and
the plot involves a large number of Democratic operatives who want nothing
more than to see America defeated in the war on terror. Many of these
home-grown terrorists are now claiming that the Executive Branch does not
have the Constitutional authority to lock up members of the Legislative
branch, a power that was granted explicitly to me earlier this year. There
are those who would say... |
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What
the hell is going on? Could it really be true that the president of the
United States is having leaders of the opposition party imprisoned right on
election day? |
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Thash
not really the preshident. |
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What
do you mean, that's not the president? It most clearly is. |
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Ish
not. I should know... I got hish body. |
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You've
got his body? |
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Yup.
I'm wearin' it right now. |
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You,
my good man, have had one too many Thorogood Specials. |
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I
juss wish the preshident wash here right now an I'd prove it to ya. |
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=poof= |
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Did
somebody here just make a wish? |
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Guards! |
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Hold
it right there, blue man. |
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Another
mug of wine, bartender. |
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Wait
boys, wait, check your code books, section 15 part 3.2F, 'Discorporation of
the president's body'. The secret phrase is 'A wet bird never flies at
night'. |
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Now,
back off boys. This is strictly between me and Jambi. |
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Well,
of course you're always welcome to stay. |
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One
mug of red coming up. It's on the house, pal. |
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I'd
also like to stay and watch if you don't mind too terribly much. |
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You?
I guess... You do still have most of your drink. Okay, Jambi, get ready to
rumble. |
 You
wouldn't hit a man with glashees, would ya? |
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