Brad: Senator John McCain made an unexpected stop here in Toledo last night, turning up at the FoxMeyer Holiday Inn during the middle of a show by the legendary Bobby Vinton. Channel 7's Entertainment Correspondent Patty Heaton was there filming Vinton for her 'Toledo Tonight' segment, and captured McCain getting in on the act.

Patty Heaton: That's right, Brad. Even though the audience consisted primarily of senior citizens, John McCain lit quite a fire with his 'fiery' appearance here, as you can see .

[McCain enters stage left, arms extended]: Bobby! Bobby! The great Bobby Vinton, everybody! Bobby come over here and give your old buddy Johnny a hug! Whoa! Yeah! I know you and I have never met, Bobby, but you and I share something quite special... That's right, you guessed it right, Bobby, it's our birthday, April 16, 1935...

Brad: Patty, did I understand the Senator to say that he shared a birthday with the legendary Bobby Vinton? 1935... That would make him what?

Patty Heaton: That would make him an old man, Brad, long past his childbearing age. And yet, this cheery senior citizen soldier senator still has a spark which refuses to be extinguished. Let's take a listen.

...and I know, just like me, you were born, Bobby, and you had a mother who loved you very much, and by God, no one should ever have the right to take that away from you with their activist judges... [applause] ...thank you... thank you very much... I took the liberty of writing a little poem about it, and, if I could steal your thunder for just one moment, Bobby, I'd like to read it... Heh heh... Okay, thank you...

Birth, birth, to live on earth
Who can say what this is worth?
If every time the sky breaks wind
A birdie sang, a puppy grinned,
And we all felt our girth,
It's mighty fine to live on earth

[applause]... thank you... thank you very much... you're too kind... what's say the Polish Prince and I do a little number together? [cheers] ...oh wow, you people are the greatest... hey Bobby, what's that song you do... no, not 'Melody of Love'... it's... no, not 'Blue Velvet'... an eye for an eye, and a buck for some peanuts... it's the iron fist of the law, but vengeance was the only thing that Liberty understood, when it came to shooting straight and fast, he was mighty good... yeah, Liberty Valance...

Brad: Good lord, Patty, Senator McCain is not going to attempt performing 'The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance', is he? I mean, that's one of the most difficult numbers in the entire Burt Bacharach canon...

Patty Heaton: It has a lot of words, Brad, a lot of words. And it certainly would be interesting to see if John McCain could pull off one of the biggest challenges of his career. But here is where things get really interesting. It seems as though 'The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance' was not one of Mister Vinton's many hit songs after all...

Brad: Ah-hah, so the Senator is mistaken...

Patty Heaton: Indeed he is, Brad. 'Liberty Valance' was sung by the legendary Gene Pitney, an artist much more at home with this sort of ultra-violent material. Furthermore, Vinton seems to be quite peeved by this whole affair, and he has taken the microphone back from Senator McCain, who seems stunned by the sudden turn of events. Let's watch.

[Vinton and band have begun playing 'Mr. Lonely', as McCain cups his hands into a makeshift megaphone]: Hey! Hey! The people spoke. Heyyyyy!... WHEN LIBERTY VALANCE CAME TO TOWN THE WOMEN FOLK WOULD HIDE... WHEN LIBERTY VALANCE WALKED AROUND THE MEN WOULD STEP ASIDE... FOR THE POINT OF A GUN WAS THE ONLY... OOOF...

Brad: Wow! They knocked him clear off the stage!

Patty Heaton: They say that you just don't mess with the Polish Prince, and there's a certain logic behind those words.

Brad: Definitely more logic than a certain senator's song selection. But wait... he's getting back off the floor, and...

Patty Heaton: And this is where he attacks me. You know, Action News never shies away from danger, but when it looks you in the eyes, well... it's a chilling experience. McCain spotted the Channel 7 microphone, and the next thing I knew, I was seated firmly on my posterior.

MANY A MAN WOULD FACE HIS GUN, AND MANY A MAN WOULD FALL... THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE, HE WAS THE GREATEST OF THEM ALL!!!

Brad: Fascinating story, Patty. So what's the consensus out there? Do people believe that Senator McCain has lost his mind?

Patty Heaton: Not at all, Brad. I think that most folks are willing to give the Senator the benefit of the doubt and accept his explanation that he was just caught up in the excitement of the presidential campaign.

Brad: Real good, if a bit premature. And how long will Bobby Vinton be in town?

Patty Heaton: He will be at the FoxMeyer Holiday Inn through the weekend, although my sources tell me that the Friday and Saturday shows are almost sold out, so you might want to call ahead.

Brad: Will do. After the break, BJ's Wholesale Club is recalling mushrooms because of a possible E. coli contamination. We'll be right back...

 

2007, Mark Hoback