Brandishing a FTD Forget-Me-Not Bouquet, Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki declared today that even a gift as fine as this was not enough to dissuade him of the notion that a specific deadline for troop withdrawal was essential to reach a security agreement with the United States.

US officials expressed surprise, saying they thought they had already reached a tentative agreement. Maliki, acting all high and mighty, proceeded to mock the aforementioned US officials.

"We do have a tentative agreement. Tentative - from the Latin tentatus, meaning 'to feel, to try'. Tentative - 'Not fully worked out, concluded, or agreed on; provisional; uncertain; hesitant; unsettled in mind or opinion'."

"God, what an asshole," said US officials, many of whom appeared to be embarrassed by the unwanted attention being focused on their appalling vocabulary skills.

Later, a close aide to al-Maliki, took the AP aside, saying "We find this to be too vague.. We don't want the phrase 'time horizons.' We are not comfortable with that phrase."

"God, what an asshole," said President Bush, clearly upset by the rejection of his inventive phrase. "What do the fellas want, anyway? A timetable? Certainly not from me, nosiree. I better get out there on the trail for John McCain and help him protect our aspirational goals."

"God, what an asshole," said Senator John McCain. "I don't even have any aspirational goals."

2012, Mark Hoback