McCain Calls Obama Insensitive to Rich People

Coral Gables, Fla. (AP) - Having completed his 'Let's Go See The Poor Tour', Republican presidential candidate John McCain took his message directly to the wealthy on Sunday with a nice sit-down rally in Coral Gables. He wasted no time in letting his followers know what was at stake in the presidential race.

"My friends, many of you enter this election season looking for change, which is understandable given the twenty rough years we've all been through since Ronald Reagan last walked the Oval Office," McCain said to sustained cheering from the audience. "I myself am offering change in abundance, and the other candidates are slyly following my lead. But not all change is the same. What the heck, you know that - I guess I'm getting just a little too old for rhetorical points."

"Barack Obama is yet another elitist liberal who will never understand the needs and dreams of the prosperous. The wealthy create the reality that fans the flames in the furnace of democracy. It is no small leap, therefore, to conclude that Senator Obama is out of touch with reality."

"I proposed a plan last week that would extend a bone to those Americans not capable of obtaining a silver spoon of their own. Don't... no, before you start booing... please... an action of this nature is an investment in our futures, people, and the ROI is high yield indeed. I'm talking about cutting the price of gasoline by eighteen and a half cents a gallon for three months. And yes, all Americans, no matter how wealthy they are, would be eligible for this instant rebate, which I call McChange."

"McChump Change, really. I know that a lot of you out there are snickering, thinking what could I do with $2.00, maybe $2.25? I'm guess that if you have an SUV your savings would be higher, maybe $3.50, but all the same, no big woof."

"But let me tell you, my friends, $2.25 will feed a family of two from the McDonald's dollar menu, and if I'm not mistake, Burger King also has a comparable program. Don't tell me that's no big deal. When you've got nothing, anything is a big deal."

"People do not bite the hand that feeds them, so when Washington turns to the important business of extending our tax cuts before turning to cut once again, the American people's innate sense of fairness will once again come into play."

"Barack Obama does not seem to understand this very basic piece of wisdom. Or even worse to contemplate, he understands it and recklessly disregards it. I noticed again today that Sen. Obama repeated his opposition to giving low-income Americans a tax break, a little bit of relief so they can travel a little further and a little longer, and maybe have a little bit of money left over to enjoy some other things in their lives. Oh, jeez, does that burn me up. I feel the need to bite something. Obviously Sen. Obama does not understand that this would be a nice thing for Americans, and the special interests should not be dictating this policy."

"If Obama is not willing to do this one small thing for the poorest amongst us, what chance is there for you and I, my friends? Who will prevent our capital gains tax from rising ever upward, until it stifles the very soul and creativity out of American enterprise? Who will fight for our God given right to enjoy the fruits of our labors after we are deceased? Do not look to Senator Obama, for he is no friend of the achiever, the builder, the dreamer. Only one man can stand and deliver this November, and that man is John McCain."

"Now let's talk about Iraq..."


2008, Mark Hoback