al-Qaeda's number two man Ayman al-Zawahari today sent a videotape message to President-elect Obama which State Department spokesman Sean McCormack described as "rude, and quite frankly, insulting".

"You were born to a Muslim father," al-Zawahari says, "but you chose to stand in the ranks of the enemies of the Muslims, and pray the prayer of the Jews, although you claim to be Christian, in order to climb the rungs of leadership in America. And in you and in Colin Powell, Rice and your likes, the words of Malcolm X, may Allah have mercy on him, concerning 'House Negroes’ are confirmed."

Later in the message, al-Zawahari ridicules Obama's plan to increase troop presence in Afghanistan. "Be aware that the dogs of Afghanistan have found the flesh of your soldiers to be delicious, so send thousands after thousands to them.

Obama wasted no time in crafting a response, which was recorded on a single videocam, not the 'fancy, shmancy, quite frankly effeminate studio digital productions which al-Qaeda feels it needs just in order to spit out a few semi-literate words'.

"Yes, I'm a house negro," Obama said, "I'm a White House negro and I'm going to put my big ole foot up your scrawny ass, you flea infested camel-humper."

Obama pulled no punches in responding to al-Zawahari's threat to American soldiers. "Funny you should mention the dogs of Afghanistan. Our soldiers are quite fond of the flesh of dogs, as long as it's deliciously prepared. So on January 21st, I will announce my intention to send eight hundred Chinese chefs to Afghanistan."


©2008, Mark Hoback