Upset by being left out of the Robert Novak inspired Clinton-Obama feud, presidential candidate John Edwards announced today that Clinton also has scandalous information about him that she is refusing to divulge.

"Don't you dare and try to swift-boat me, Hillary Clinton," Edwards said to a group of agrobusiness executives in Idaho, none of whom were named Hillary Clinton. "That's what you do, that's what you've always done, and I will not put up with it. This is the worst sort of mudslinging. She's using invisible mud, and she's using skanky Robert Novak to not throw it."

"This is so insidious, and just like Senator Obama, I believe that she's not attacking me as a method to make me look vulnerable and to make herself look prudent. Well I for one am not buying it. I know Hillary Clinton has the goods on me and I want her to come out and spill the beans. I challenge her here and now to open her mouth and stop not talking about me."