Hardball's Chris Mathews explains that "Hillary Clinton would be
the first American president to have jugs"

MSNBC spokesman Jeremy Gaines complained today that Hillary Clinton is exhibiting a troubling patter of "deliberately trying to misunderstand the remarks of our hosts", and warned that unless she apologizes to the network, she might not be included in any future Democratic debates.

The statement came after Ms. Clinton intentionally misinterpreted a statement made by correspondent David Shuster, who remarked on air “Doesn’t it seem as if Chelsea is sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?”

"We never said that Chelsea was being pimped out," explained Gaines, "we just said that it seemed that way. Although if she were being pimped out, I can assure you that I would be the first in line. Jeez, that's meant as a compliment. Chelsea is a fine piece of ass, as opposed to her mother, who quite frankly has seen better days."

Schuster, who has been temporarily suspended "in an attempt to appease the old witch", remains puzzled be the whole affair. "This is America, where we have pimps and hos, and most people innately understand that a pimp has the upper hand over a ho. Clinton should take these remarks in the spirit that was intended. You didn't see her opponent get all bent out of shape when we call him Hobama."


©2008, Mark Hoback