photo: AP - Bush seeks solace with mother Barbara Bush

President Bush was reportedly so saddened by the 4,000th American death in Iraq that he was unable to speak about it, opting instead to dispatch White House Press Secretary Dana Perino to express his sentiments.

"It's a sober moment, and one that all of us can focus on in terms of the number of 4,000," said Perino, her face all scrunchy, but otherwise looking like a real doll. "Now we know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall. The president feels each and every one of the deaths very strongly and he grieves for their families. He obviously is grieved by the moment but he mourns the loss of every single life. The Joint Chiefs of Staff have all recommended that he go outside to play."

And play he did, bringing multitudes of young, innocent children onto the White House grounds, to search for thousands of gaily colored eggs, engage in face painting, and enjoy performances by magicians and musicians.

"Anything to cheer the President up," said Chief of Staff Joshua Bolton. "When he's sad, gosh, it seems like the whole country is teary-eyed. It took at least an hour, but by God, when I last saw him this morning he was chipper as ever, reading the kids his new favorite book, 'Arthur Meets the President'. Ah, that story is enough to put anybody in a good mood."


2008, Mark Hoback