The Graduate


Spirits are running high at the White House as George W Bush prepares for his upcoming graduation from President School. Final exams have been taken and Bush is off for a well deserved rest and relaxation period before the final ceremony on January 20.

"Bet you guys didn't think you'd ever see this day," said Bush, prancing around in front of a small press contingent but refusing to take questions from them. "Don't want you all to ruin my big day. I just wanted to show off my new duds." Bush was wearing a brown sackcloth gown, traditionally reserved for the lowest ranking President School graduate up to that point in time. "My daddy never got to wear the brown gown," Bush chortled.

Bush was accompanied by Dean Acheson, who was head of President School from 1949 until the early 1970s. He claimed to have taken a special interest in the latest graduate.

"It's taken eight long years," said the Dean, "but George is finally ready to receive his degree in History."

Caught off guard by the press, Acheson quickly became defensive.

"That's quite an impudent question, young man, and I suggest you and your colleagues take a remedial course in manners. But to answer your question, no, George did not pass his exams. Not a single one. But to clarify in face of your obvious ignorance, one does not have to pass exams in order to graduate from President School. One simply has to leave."


2008, Mark Hoback