Mmm, boy, is this ever a tough one. I've just got to endorse somebody. Ever since I dropped out of the race I've been trying to get my mind around it. If not me, then who? Or is that whom? You'd think that after all my years as a trial lawyer I would have that down cold... Let's see... 'who' is the subject form and 'whom' is the object form, but aren't I both the subject and the object in this particular construct? Let me rephrase it... Now that I am not in the race, whom should I select. Subject, object and... damnit, I've got a double subject... Let me just put it in a grammatically deficient manner - do I pick Hillary or Obama?
Whoa, look at them. That's a couple of fine looking candidates. Just my luck to have to run against two photogenic people. Things would have been a lot different if it was me and Chris Dodd and... maybe Bill Richardson. There wouldn't be any doubt as to who was the best looking candidate in that scenario. Of course, Hillary's a girl, which is hardly fair. If I wore that much makeup, the press would have been on me nonstop. Shoot, I can't even get a nice haircut without getting a ration of shit...
Focus John, focus. If you don't make an endorsement soon, it's going to be irrelevant. Irrelevant... Irrelevant always makes me think of an elephant, isn't that crazy? Well, not crazy, just... okay, okay. Obama is... why do I always call him Obama but I call Clinton Hillary? It must be because Obama sounds more like a real name than Barack does. Barack is kind of like the sound a cat makes in the cartoons when you hit it on the head with a board. BARACK! Oooh, I hate you mieces to pieces. Heh heh, what was the name of that cartoon? I kind of want to say Tom and Jerry, but I'm pretty sure that's not the right answer. I'm going to have to remember to google that.
Concentrate. Hillary, okay, I like her health care plan better. You can't let people decide whether or not they want to opt in because heaven knows there are plenty of idiots that just won't do it until they get sick and then... I wonder if she's still mad at me about that crack I made about her pantsuit. I've got to admit it, that really was out of line. She really looked pretty good in that pantsuit. I wish I could get away with a bold color like that, but no... You know who would look good in a pantsuit? Let me rephrase that. You know who would look really good without a pantsuit? I'm not talking totally naked, maybe just something...
©2008, Mark Hoback