Former candidate John 'Bridesmaid' Edwards made it official on Thursday, laying it all out like the cold corpse of a dead dream. 'No'. He will not be the fucking Vice President. 'No', bereft of adjectives or adverbs, nothing but net.

Edwards was attending the CTIA Wireless 2008 Convention (For Poverty, we assume) in Las Vegas, and was asked about the Veep slot during the 'Question & Answer' portion of the program, (which he amusingly shared with TV legend Fred Thompson. I don't know, maybe it was 'Cavalcade of Also-Rans' week in Vegas.)

To become Vice President, there's the problem that someone needs to ask you. (Except of course for the happy case of Dick Cheney, who found out the right man was sleeping with his wife.) Nobody asked John. Nobody was going to ask John. What did he have to offer? Experience to balance Obama? Testosterone to balance Hillary? The only thing he had to offer in trade was his endorsement, a commodity that has had a shorter half-life than Edwards imagined.

Right out of the gate, the night he dropped out of the race,  he might have had a fighting chance - throw out a Hail Mary endorsement and hope it results in a quick score, then take as much gratitude and credit as you can get without getting called for celebrating in the end zone. After missing that opportunity, all he could do was promise to throw the long ball sometime soon.

You gathered that he played on that possibility as long as he could, and when he realized there were to be no takers, he bargained lower. Perhaps he could be the Attorney General. That was floated for a couple of weeks while Edwards continued to recede. Memory fades, his name recognition isn't what it used to be.

Hillary Clinton is giving Edwards one final shot to use or lose that endorsement. She has proposed the creation of an imaginary job which she calls the 'Poverty Czar' - a job conceived for the sole purpose of obtaining Edward's support, and one that is destined to remain imaginary unless Edwards whips out that endorsement and whips it out quick.

Better step it up, bud. This looks like the very best deal you're going to get.



2008, Mark Hoback