"We're still buddies, aren't we Perv?"

"Oh my yes, Bushie, international BFF. I honestly do not know if I could have sustained my last military coup if it wasn't for the trust and support that you and the Dick have given me.  I think it's possible that those crazy Muslims might have overthrown me long ago without your help."

"That's a good point, a valid point, and I appreciate you sayin' it. You've been a real good friend and a valuable ally in this global war on terror we've got going on. Woulda been nice if you'd let me get bin Laden and maybe take out some of those al-Qaeda guys on your border, but still, I understand."

"Yes, it would have been hard to explain to my people why the United States was launching attacks in our fine country. Some of our hotheads might have even wanted to loosen our nuclear armaments upon you, perish the thought."

"Well heck yeah, perish the thought. A lot of Americans would be rightly pissed if you repaid those billions we've given you with a nuclear deposit."

"As well they should, Bushie."

"But doggone it to heck, I just wished you hadn't taken this particular moment to launch another military coup."

"What must be must be."

"I know, but dang it's awful hard to explain."

"Why explain anything? Just ignore the topic and the people will forget all about it."

"Yeah, I guess they are kind of flighty like that. What I'm worried about is this Hollywood writers strike. What with all their favorite shows going into reruns, I'm afraid people are going to start watching the news."

"What is it that you Americans say? Big fucking chance."

"Heh heh, that's what we say, all right. I guess I shouldn't worry... it's just that I'm not as popular as I used to be."

"Not to worry. My advice is to be like me and stage another coup."

"Hmm, that's a thought, although it'd be a heckuva lot messier than the one in 2000. On the other hand, Dick has brought the topic up several times."

"Then listen to the advice of your two good friends. You'll see that your popularity is back in the 90s in no time, just like me."


"With Allah as my witness. At least among the people who are not tied up with prison."



2007, Mark Hoback