photo: Reuters

Hell, yeah, I'm a NASCAR fan, what sort of real man isn't, I mean vroom vroom, everybody, lets go burn some friggin rubber. Number 8, talkin bout Junior, yeah I'm a Junior fan, always have been, cause one, I liked his daddy, and two I like me a cold Budweiser, and three, I like Chevrolets, damn it man, best car money can buy.

I ain't no panderin man and I got no fear of sayin what I really feel even though it might hurt me politically, and what I feel like sayin is whoo boy I sure do like me me some NASCAR. Sure, I could be like ole Mitt Romney and try to do what I thinks gonna get me a buncha extra votes, by tellin people how much I like opera, or brag like John McCain bout how I know everything there is to know about ballet, but my heart wouldn't be in it, and I'll just bet everybody would still see me for what I really am, anyway, a redneck NASCAR lovin son of a gun.

Hey Judy, why doncha run up the stands and bring me and my boy Kevin here a couple or four Buds, hell, get yourself a little something too while you're up there, here's a fifty, now scoot.