McRib from here.

The war of words between the two Democratic contenders escalated today, with Hillary Clinton telling a crowd in Philadelphia that Barack Obama was much like a McRib sandwich.

"Barack Obama claims to be the candidate of change. And change is good, right? You know, every few years, McDonald's reintroduces the McRib with great fanfare, and they make it look absolutely delicious," Clinton told her laughing supporters, who seemed to sense where this was all going.

"They spend weeks advertising it, saying the McRib is coming soon, the McRib is coming soon. You get so excited, don't you? I know I do. You're ready for a change. Those pictures, I'm sure you remember the scenes from McRibs past. In the commercials it looks like they've got a whole rack of ribs on that toasted sesame seed bun, and the sauce drips down in a blaze of burgundy, the pickles and onions are flying, and the next thing you know, you find yourself saying 'Honey, lets have McRibs for dinner tonight'."

"We all know what happens next. I'm betting that most of the folks here today have a story similar to this. Our desire for change is so great that we disregard the family budget - because those things are quite expensive - and we buy the McRib. Even though we have a vague memory of having seen this all play out before, we buy the McRib. And we sit at our little vinyl topped table with our sodas and our fries, and we open our brightly colored boxes, and inside we see a pathetic shriveled piece of tasteless processed pork, and we have - say it with me - buyers remorse."

"We think of what we could have eaten instead, how the sandwich we know - that boring but reliable Big Mac, or perhaps you'd prefer a Fish Fillet - how much better that would have tasted than our exciting new, yet somehow recycled McRib. Yet, just like our vote, we can't take it back and exchange it, we have to just sit there unenthusiastically nibbling at it while we dream about what might have been and wishing for the time when we can dump the whole disgusting mess into the colorfully decorated trash bin of history. But then, eight months later, when we finally get back in line and go to find our trusty and reliable favorite, we find that it's no longer there. Nothing is left but the McRib and the McMaverick. Oh, and of course fries."

"Wake up people and vote for the past, because the future is too unsavory to contemplate, and I'm available for a limited time only."



2008, Mark Hoback