Six months after the Bush Administration foresaw a happy future full of Double GITMOs, less excellent treatment of 'detainees', and a permanent end  to the whole concept of two types of fruit, the tide has shifted abruptly away from the dream of eternal imprisonment and torture that they once held so dear. With the prospect of either a Democrat or John 'Pussycat' McCain in office, one high ranking government official, speaking off the record, said  "Shoot, at this point, it's hardly even worth our while to fix the election."

"Well, we've got to get jiggy wid'it," said sad-eyed veep Dick Cheney. "We've got to get these military tribunals going pronto, show America some of the secret evidence obtained through torture, and execute these guys all as quickly as possible. Like Chekhov said, if you're going to show a gun in the first act, it better go off by the end of the play."

"This is the third act. I'm not going to commit as to whether it's the final act or not, but I will say that time is running short, and I know these terrorists are all guilty as sin. Maybe we should have pulled that trigger earlier, but because of our deep belief in the sanctity of life, we've tried to keep these scumbags locked away in the dark, and ensure that they all live to a ripe and festering old age."

"But that has to end now, before a less patriotic administration comes into power, and tries to second guess some of our better actions. I feel like Glen Close in 'Fatal Attraction', or maybe it was Misty Beethoven in 'Play Misty For Me'. Whatever, we've got to take care of these bad boys right away, because if we can't have them, then nobody else can."



2008, Mark Hoback