Romney Apologizes for Craig Understanding

Mitt Romney demonstrates the width of Larry Craig's stance

Mad as hell and determined not to take it anymore (so to speak), Idaho senator Larry Craig lashed out at his main tormenter Mitt Romney in an interview that was broadcast late Tuesday on NBC.

"I'd worked hard for him here in the state," Craig said to Matt Lauer. "Hey, what's the matter with you, Lauer? There's nothing funny about the word 'hard'. I was a co-chair of Romney's campaign on Capitol Hill. And he not only threw me under his campaign bus, he backed up and ran over me again. Then he got out of the bus and kicked me in the kidneys before I had a chance to get up. Then he compared me to Bill Clinton. But when he went back to the bus with a bucket and began siphoning gasoline, that's when I knew it was time for me to blow off him and his psychotic campaign once and for all. Hey, what the hell is the matter with you Lauer? There's nothing funny about the phrase 'blow off'"

Romney, sensing that the future of his campaign was hanging in the balance, insisted that the whole episode 'was nothing but an unfortunate understanding''.

"I believe that God loves all his children, although I suppose that it's fair to call the gays his illegitimate children," Romney said apologetically. "Larry left my campaign because he didn't want to be a distraction, and while perhaps it's true that I threw him under the bus, the backing up and running over him again part was purely accidental. I was just going back to check on him and whoops, there he was. And the part about me comparing him to Clinton is simply not true. Bill Clinton likes chicks."



2007, Mark Hoback