New York Governor Elliot Spitzer admitted this afternoon that he had displayed a certain lack of judgment in the arena of commercial hooker procurement and deployment, and that if he had it all to do over, he would probably focus his efforts into commercial paper and the less glamorous field of municipal bonds.

"I want to ensure all New Yorkers that municipal bonds are a good investment in the current financial cycle, and they may provide much needed stability in the average portfolio," Spitzer said, in a brief statement to the press. "You don't hear the Jim Cramers of the world talking about them because they're not as glamorous as the concubine exchange. Well all I know is that I'm invested at about thirty percent with munies, and that tax free interest rolls in as predictably as the New York tide."

"Just compare that to the prostitution market, where you can be up one day and the next, you've got your legs cut off from under you. I should have known that. As an investor, it was my responsibility to know that. It was a small indiscretion on my part. If I had taken all the money I wasted on hookers and put that in biotech stocks like my planner advised me, I'd be sitting pretty about now."



2008, Mark Hoback